


Emotions

by yourkilljoy



Category: VALORANT (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of Angst, Origin Story, Romance, Viper bisexual queen, did i mention Viper milf, did i say there was a lot of angst, if you want lore for Viper then this fic is for you, minor original characters, nanobite - Freeform, this also explores Viper and Omen's friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29081943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourkilljoy/pseuds/yourkilljoy
Summary: A look at Viper through the lens of the six emotions that shaped her life | A 7-part story
Relationships: Killjoy/Viper (VALORANT), Viper (VALORANT)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 50





	1. Angst

**Author's Note:**

> So....this is a result of a lack of lore from Riot. The intrigue in the lore between Viper/Omen/Sage played a huge part in this story's creation. Also partly inspired by Viper's official Spotify playlist which gives such insight to her character. Not sure if anyone will even read this but this is how I imagined it would play out. This is really angsty so you've been warned. Enjoy!

**[PRESENT]**

Viper sets open an empty box and starts dumping some of her dust glazed folders holding past research she has done. _Pathethic,_ she thinks. Works of someone who only saw the good in people.

As she dumped another stack of folders, some contents fall out and she catches a glimpse of an old photograph of her with her old lab partners. She took in a breath and picked the photo up. Three people donning white lab coats with smiles on their faces. Some of the faces strike a memory in her she had long tried to bury deep, but seeing young Sabine smiling in the middle with her jet-black shoulder cut and horn-rimmed glasses takes her back to a time she almost forgot.

Back to before things all went horribly wrong.

\--

“We have heard about your interest in the study of the Radianite, and your reputation clearly precedes you. Graduated a year ahead of her batch, awarded by three different scientific bodies for your thesis alone, distinguished young chemist, youngest woman to work with the Army’s military chemistry unit.” Ms. Coleman said as she closed the folder in her hands. The director of Kingdom clasped her hands firmly as a deep line formed in her cheek with a smile. “We would love to work with you Sabine and help fund your research.”

Sabine’s eyes widened. “This would take a lot of time and resources. A lot of other universities have already turned me down.”

Coleman was quick to notice the hesitation where she was going.

“You know Kingdom is a global corporation, with many resources situated around the world and an exceptional scientific division. The presence of Radianite is something we see interest in. Other institutions may not think much of it yet, but we know it is important. I’ve read some of your preliminary hypothesis, how you wish to see how you can tap into this source as a way to heal much better than stem-cells would. Help us see to this research through and you can be part of one of the biggest scientific breakthroughs of the century.”

“What’s the catch?”

She stared blankly back. “There is no catch. We have the resources you need, Kingdom would love to have such a brilliant chemist in our roster. When the study is successfully published, you will be credited alongside Kingdom.”

Sabine thought back to some colleagues who have given up in their research altogether–a waste for such brilliant minds. But she would not be one of those. She can’t throw that all away now. She knew such a big decision should be more thought out, but this was also a once in a lifetime opportunity she couldn’t pass upon.

“Ms. Coleman, I accept the proposition.”

\--

Long nights and coffee-infused mornings described much of what Sabine’s life had been after deciding to work with Kingdom.

As promised, they had let her get free reign on whatever resources she needed—and they had plenty. The work wasn’t easy, Sabine finding herself forgo most of what was left of her free time to spend in the lab, until her eyes would dare shut on her and the janitor telling her to hurry before they shut down the facility located in Washington.

But it was also there where she found her company, her two best friends. Bowman – who jokingly called himself Omen, was a physicist just as obsessed with Radianite as she was. He was the one who knew how to lighten the mood when things got a little too serious. Ted, a doctor who worked as a consultant for the Radianite division, who identifies as the only sane one of the bunch. They spent pretty much every waking moment next to each other and Sabine honestly could not imagine doing her research all by herself.

“These Radianite powered people rumor going around, do you actually believe this?” Ted asked pointing at the television, taking off his glasses. He always played the devil’s advocate.

“I mean we are doing this study. We have to believe in that for this to all work.” Omen said spinning around on his office chair, yet still doing nothing to his slicked back brown hair. “I think that would be pretty cool.”

“He’s right, Ted. I’m spending my twenties wasting away in this lab because I believe my hypothesis to be correct.” Sabine jotted down notes with each precise stroke.

“This is why you should go out with me, Sabine. A little night life wouldn’t hurt anybody.” Ted leaned into Sabine, causing her to take a step back with an accompanying stare. Ted backed away, hands up high “Right, your personal space.”

“Who said I’m not enjoying this. I’m having the time of my life here.” She said dryly, putting on her lab glasses, smiling to herself.

“Stop being a prune Sabine and go out with Ted. You guys are driving me nuts.” Omen remarked, shaking his head.

“Woe is me, the girl I like is in love with her work.” Ted said.

“Shh, quiet you both. I’m working.”

\--

“Stay longer.” Ted didn’t want to let go of her hand.

They had not been together for long, but Sabine knew that look –the sad puppy dog eyes behind his glasses. Dating him was not one of the things she had planned, it just happened. Ted often joked that she was too much of a brilliant mind not to be sharing her ideas with someone else. Maybe he was the first guy who really paid attention to her and was not intimidated by her. But right now, he was getting in the way.

“Ted, I’m in the zone. If I stop now, I’d be spending the next two weeks mad at myself for not being able to figure this out sooner. It’s right at the tip of my tongue.” Sabine grabbed her coat, draping it over her arm.

He looked down as if he expected that exact same response. “I know. You’ll do well, you always do.” He stood up, his eyes almost scared to meet her. “Listen, there’s something you need to know.”

Sabine used the keys she had of the building facility and hastily pushed at the door with force. It was dark save for the light at the end of the hall. She let her feet guide her to the lab as she tried to suppress the storm bubbling inside of her. Ted and her never fought, which to her was surprising since they had nothing in common, and to her that was made their relationship possible and easy even. He always just let her do her job while she let him do his.

_Don’t put too much trust in Kingdom._ She exhaled as she stopped at the door of their lab. What did Ted know? He wasn’t the one granted the research funding—this was _her_ project. Her career on the line. Kingdom saw great potential in her and that was what made all of this possible.

She set down her bag and dumped her coat over her chair. She turned on the lamp as she started writing down some observations before they were too far from her reach. She stopped writing when the pencil tip snapped in half. She cursed at how she let herself get so affected by what Ted had said.

Sabine leaned back on her chair and looked around her at the empty lab. The idea now planted in her brain was hard to shake until she found herself making her way down the hallway towards where Ms. Coleman’s office was. The gaps in the light made her shadow look like a monstruous, disfigured version of herself but she did not want to psych herself out for what she was about to do.

When she reached the familiar gray door with the words DIRECTOR’S OFFICE in a gold plate, she brought out her ID, and doing a trick Omen taught her, she was able to open the door with a wiggle of the card. She made her way in the icy office of Coleman, as if she never left its presence. Sabine knew the cameras were always turned off after work hours after days of being the last to leave the premises, so getting caught didn’t scare her.

Folders were neatly stacked on one side of her desk and Sabine gently made her way, thumbing over the different title marks. She stopped at the one labelled “Radianite Project” and got it out, making sure to remember which order the folder belonged.

They were just correspondences between Coleman and some other higher-ups from Kingdom. Sabine was not expecting so see anything important, they used a lot of code words which meant this was indecipherable to anyone else. When Sabine scanned through most of them, she realized the lack of word about _her_ research was odd. She shook it off knowing the Radianite research division was just a small part of a large global organization such as Kingdom.

Sabine placed the folder just as it was and made sure everything was back to where it was and made her way back out. She finished a couple of tests and recorded more observations until she realized that the light was starting to peek out of the blinds. She grabbed her stuff and went back to her apartment.

She tried to fight the corners of her lips tugging up when she saw Ted waiting for her leaning against the kitchen door, a cup of coffee in hand.

“Up so early?” Sabine taunted. To anyone else, it would have sounded like a jab, but Ted knew all about her dry sarcastic sense of humor.

He ran his hand over his wavy brown hair, turning it into a bigger mess. “Sabine I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I know how much this means to you, but I’m just worried you spend every waking moment thinking about the project.”

There it was again. The idea, creeping inside of her, filling her with dread and anxiety that scared her. To acknowledge was to admit that what Ted said had scared her and she would not let that happen. “I do, and it does matter to me, you know that.”

He handed her a mug of coffee and Sabine remembered one of the first times she started seeing Ted as more than just a friend. She took it, letting their hands touch.

In her head, all she could think about was her research, proving herself, being able to do something that matters to the world. But maybe, there was space there for something else, a future with Ted, maybe a family even. Those thoughts disappeared like wisps of thin air and the sudden anxiety she felt, about her work and her future, settled in her abdomen. A feeling she just cannot shake away.

Little did she know that it was just the beginning.

That night, Sabine got her first nightmare.


	2. Fear

More than a year since the start of the Radianite project and Sabine still felt they were on the precipice of something greater. Since then, a lot of things had changed. With his consultancy contract over with Kingdom, Ted was back where he really worked. Sabine didn’t want to admit that not having him around was helping her concentrate on work. More discoveries of Radianite started popping up in different parts of the globe, becoming a hot topic that was nothing more than added pressure on their study.

The Radianite that Kingdom gave them are miniscule in size, and while it is enough for sample testing, in terms of really being able to conduct a lot of tests on a wider scale, it wasn’t enough. Whenever she brought it up with Coleman, the superior always gave the same answer that it was too dangerous to get pure Radianite in large so what they always give them was the processed one. That sinking, creeping feeling Sabine first felt that night she and Ted fought never left her fully, constantly haunting her that everything she is doing is for naught.

“Sabine?”

She looked up. Omen was obviously talking to her yet there she was again, lost in her own world. “Sorry, what?”

“I said how’s the baby?”

This brought her back to reality. “He’s fine, he’s with Ted. Doing baby stuff. Ted can bring him to work, university hospitals are more child friendly than scientific laboratories don’t you think?”

“Don’t ever change, Sabine.” Omen quipped. “But honestly, you barely took a leave and went straight back to work after having Emery. I think Kingdom won’t mind if you took a break –”

“Listen I’ve got an idea, and this will speed up the testing phase that we’re doing. But this sounds absolutely crazy and I’m sure no one here would let us do it.”

“Uhh so yeah—forget what I said. What is this?”

Sabine pulled out her laptop and showed Omen some news clippings she had bookmarked. Sources of a Radianite cavern somewhere in South Africa.

“This has been newly discovered. Not much buzz about it yet, if we can get access to this, before Kingdom does away with their processing, this can help our study, tenfold.”

“Yeah, No.. I mean it’s a brilliant idea—I support that this is pure Radianite and will help our studies more than the processed Radianite they give us. But this is dangerous, did you see about the rumored people who came into contact with them? If they did not get weird abilities, they die, Sabine. Plus, Kingdom said so themselves pure Radianite means a dangerous extraction.” Omen always kept his calm and now was one of the times Sabine saw him look in distress. His forehead wrinkling, his perfectly gelled brown hair disrupted by a few strands falling into his face.

“It’s a long shot, Omen. But you and I both know this is what we need to do. We’re going one step forward and two steps back here.” Sabine opened another tab and showed the screen to her friend. Omen took off his glasses and wiped at them before putting them back on.

“A Radianite healer?”

She nodded. “I know an old friend who can find her. She can heal people with her abilities, she got it from the same substance we’re doing an experiment on. She could help us channel that Radianite.”

“You sound like a madwoman right now. As your friend I’m very concerned as you should be doing motherly things,” Sabine just gave him a look to which Omen sighed “but as a scientist, I say we go for it.”

\--

“Are you really going, to South Africa for this?” Ted asked, taking up the space of the doorframe. No matter how nice his tone was, she knew where this was going. It didn’t help Sabine – getting a kid, because it meant she felt guilty for actually spending more time at work and she did not like what it meant for her research, and what was at stake.

“We’re so close Ted. I can’t abandon this and not now. I barely even got approval from Kingdom for this.” Sabine threw clothes into her luggage, not hiding her annoyance.

She stormed out the room to get her belongings in the bathroom.

“Did you not see the news about the rift? Whatever that is, it has to be connected to Radianite. This is actually really dangerous, Sabine.” She knew that tone he had in his voice, the same when he planted the idea that Kingdom cannot be trusted. That pushed at her buttons.

“You’re not going to psych me out of this.” She firmly sealed her luggage shut.

Ted stopped her in her tracks and held her shoulders. “I don’t want to lose you. And it’s not just me this time, Emery too.” Of all times, Sabine couldn’t deal with this, not now. He looked at her with those same puppy eyes. “I know how important this is for you but, you can’t just keep thinking about yourself here. Tell me this is still a future you want.”

She couldn’t meet his eyes. The only future she has been seeing is her nightmares coming to life if she somehow does not finish her research. She obviously couldn’t tell anyone this. “I know I haven’t been the best mom. But what I’m doing, it’s not just for me anymore. For you, Emery, for humanity. I’ve always been working to heal people, heal this world, and I’m so _close_ Ted.” She yanked out of his grasp. “Nothing you say can stop me.”

She went over to the crib where baby Emery was standing up. It was with a pang of guilt that Sabine realized she wasn’t even there to see that milestone happen. She stroked at his cheeks and watch his green eyes look into hers. “Mommy will be back.” She gave him a kiss on the forehead, and she left.

The cab ride to the airport was met with rain, mirroring what she felt inside.

The anxiety and unease always came back to her at crucial moments. The thought that the choice between her family and her work was of not even a quandary for her made her all twisted up inside. _There are just bigger things at stake,_ she reminded herself. She hated herself for these thoughts.

\--

It was the same nightmare.

Sabine was walking unmarked corridors that seemed to stretch on forever. No matter how far she walked, she never seemed to reach the end. The light cast a disfigured shadow of herself that was following her, and she couldn’t escape it.

Voices were talking but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. She falls down where she is walking, being swallowed by darkness and she is in a lab. There is a thunderstorm, but it had bled through inside, sending equipment and test tubes hurling at the floor. Her shadow was looming over her until there was nothing but darkness.

“We’re here!”

Sabine jolted awake to Omen’s voice and realized that she had fallen asleep on a cab ride. The number of random naps she has taken the past few days have been concerning, but with so much at stake, there was no time to be idle.

“You look horrible. Are you okay?” He asked, scrunching up that forehead of his.

“Shut up.” She fixed her hair and her turtleneck shirt.

They were at the city where they were supposed to meet the Radianite girl. Omen craned his neck to look around. “Are you sure your friend gave you the right contact?”

“Yeah, the Old Dog sticks to his word. He has a lot of contacts with all his years on the job. He worked for a while in Kingdom’s operations division, he knows about those humans with Radianite abnormalities.” Sabine said matter-of-factly, as she checked her phone.

“Old Dog? Is he your friend from the military? Did all of you guys get codenames there when you joined there? What was yours?” he asked.

“Viper.”

“The snake? Why?” Omen was chuckling, a sound that made Sabine want to punch him in the guts. It must have been apparent in her face for Omen then pursed his lips.

“They thought it would be funny to give the chemist a name after a snake that does the opposite of healing. And it just stuck. And not that I like a lot of people using my real name.” She muttered the last one almost to herself.

“Is that her?” Omen pointed to a girl with a long ponytail, covering her head with a scarf, as she wore a floral dress. The girl approached them and introduced herself. “Hi, you can call me Sage.”

\--

Omen took one glance at Sabine as they rode the vans going to the location of the Radianite readings. She met his eyes and Sabine had known in her years of being his colleague and friend, what they meant.

Omen’s hair was whipping against the open window of the van with his 3 AM shadow that made him look like an intimidating movie star, always so collected and sure of himself but Sabine knew better. Omen had a lot of heart, and honestly, she knew he had twice as much as hers. Underneath his dark eyes, there was that same uncertainty he displayed when she first proposed the idea.

“You must be thinking about them.” He said softly.

She looked at him, confused, until she realized what he meant. She curtly nodded. The truth is, the only thing on her mind was how this was going to turn out. If they fail here…no she could not think of that possibility. Maybe once this is over she could think about Ted and Emery and make things right. This lessened the guilt she felt about the matter.

“We got this.” He said affirmingly, almost more to himself.

Sabine ran the plan over their head. They were going to pretend Sage was an experienced cave guide, there was no reason for people at Kingdom to know a Radiant was helping them in their extraction process. She had already changed to match the disguise. They had also met with some of the Kingdom staff situated in South Africa who had supplied them with the equipment and resources.

They drove past a vast expanse of land, the brown earth stretching on to the horizon. The reading in their machine had started picking up and just at the same moment, Sage proclaimed. “We’re here.”

Sabine got down the van and met with a sloping rocky terrain that had a small opening in the center.

“Okay so we’ll set camp here for when we extract the substance.” Sabine ordered as the rest of the Kingdom staff started assembling tables and a makeshift tent.

Omen was still staring at the sight of the cave, as if entranced. Sabine walked up to him. “Hey, I know what you’re thinking. We don’t have to go through this if you—”

He turned to her, with firmness in his eyes. “We’re doing this. The raw energy of the substance and how it causes rifts, the chemical properties which allows for healing like Sage’s… Sabine this is what we both want. Everything, comes down to this.”

Sabine nodded. If anyone knew the feeling of almost having their desires, it was her. “We’re going through it together.”

He put a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll go alone.” Sabine furrowed her eyebrows. “It’s dangerous still, who knows. You have a family waiting for you.”

“Don’t be stupid, Omen.” She spat with incredulity. “You have friends, people who care about you too.”

“Don’t worry about me. Sage is here remember? With her healing powers and whatnot. If anyone knows how to deal with Radianite, it’s her. We’ll be fine.” He patted her shoulder before heading off to wear the protective suit.

Sabine pulled Sage aside who seemed surprise by the sudden action. “Please tell me you’ll take care of him.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be by his side.” The healer replied, her manner of delivery making Sabine feel like everything is going to be fine. That eased a bit of her anxiety.

A couple of minutes and Omen, Sage, and some Kingdom crewmates, all geared up in protective hazmat suits waved goodbye as they disappeared inside the mouth of the cave, being swallowed whole.

The group kept radio contact and Sabine was taking notes from observation every now and then, noticing her penmanship getting more unstable the longer time ticked on. At some point, the radio frequencies died, being too deep to get signal.

They waited and waited some more. As the sun was setting, the Radianite reading started spiking uncontrollably. Sabine stood up, clutching the radio. “Omen, are you there—”

Then it happened. Before their eyes near the point of the horizon where the cave met the sky, a blue fissure appeared in the sky, blinding to white, then fading as if the stars had opened up. She had seen rifts appear on TV but seeing one before her eyes was inexplicable. When it retracted it caused a gravitational push that topped their tent over, sending their equipment to the ground. Sabine had lost her footing and was thrown on her back, just like some members of the crew. Then it was over, the rift was there, floating in the sky, a reminder that something terrible had happened right before her eyes.

She waited and waited for Omen to come back out. It still didn’t hit Sabine until an hour later when Sage and just a few of the Kingdom crew emerged out, their protective suits in tatters, covered in debris, that her friend was gone.

\--

The loss of her friend didn’t hit until she and Ted were attending his funeral that didn’t even have his remains. The worst part was that none of the funeral goers knew what it was like in his last moments – not even Sabine and that was an endless chasm that cannot be filled inside of her.

_The contact with Radianite – it tore him apart. I’m so sorry._ Sage’s words haunted her, sending the hairs at the back of her neck stand up. Sage. Sabine couldn’t muster the bubbling anger she felt towards the healer. If Sage had stayed longer in the scene, Sabine didn’t know what mess she would see herself in. It was the sound of Ted’s voice that disrupted her thoughts.

“I’ll miss him.” Ted said as they drove home.

_You’re not going to say ‘I told you so?’,_ she thought. She shook the thought away as she was figuring out how to properly feel with the anger she felt paired together with the confusion, and the hollowness of grief. He wouldn’t tell her that, he was a good guy.

Silence settled on Sabine’s shoulders; she had been like this since it happened. How does one react to their friend’s death causing a rift in the atmosphere’s fabric? She remembered being in tears moments after it dawned on her, but she wasn’t crying –it felt like a natural reaction of her body like retching after smelling something foul. Maybe what killed Sabine inside was that she _was_ supposed to come with him. It could have also been her.

Going home did not offer her the least bit of comfort. Seeing Emery was nice and for a moment, she could almost forget about it. Being at home was like pretending everything was fine when it was far from the truth, the world went on and she was just there, like being a spectator to a television show. But it was as if the rift was etched in her eyes, forever replaying, reminding her that she was dealing with something she did not understand.

She stared at the briefcase where she carried with her the Radianite research – four years of accumulated research and she could not have saved Omen?

Remembering that it was her insistence that got him to his demise, and that he was a much better person than she ever will be, added to Sabine’s guilt.

For once, she was scared to get back to work. The feeling of sinking dread was clawing through her all over again. Was that a warning that if she would continue down the road, something similar would befall her just like it did Omen? She tried to hide the tremor in her hands, clasping the other tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get to see here a darker side to Sabine in her pursuit for her research, but what could the other side hold for her? How far would she go to see it through? Hope you enjoy this one!
> 
> Please check out "Below by White Lung", it's one of the tracks that influenced my writing for the fic. It's part of Viper's Spotify playlist and I think it encompasses her character pretty well.


	3. Pain

Kingdom was kind enough to throw a memorial event for Omen in their headquarters in California. Sabine wanted to avoid the gnawing feeling of dread of going back to that lab, not when everything reminded her of Omen, so she attended, taking a flight to the big city of Los Angeles.

The cab ride gave her a view of the colossal skyscraper Kingdom owned, the tallest building in the city, surrounded by an expansive complex with their other divisions. It was one of the few times she’s been there, and she wished it had been under better circumstances. The mood of the city was different, and she figured she could use a change of scenery other than gloomy Washington.

When she got in the main building, she was escorted to one of the function halls. A number of people were attending, sitting on the chairs while a man she did not know spoke at the podium, while a projector screen showed a slideshow of some pictures of Omen when he first started working for Kingdom.

She made her way through the back, grabbed a cup of coffee and leaned against the nearest wall. She sighed as she observed the dead crowd. She could imagine Omen right beside telling her, _This crowd is so dead, I’d rather knit than be here._

A small smile dared to from at the corner of her lips until she remembered the weight of the truth right in front of her. He was gone. She looked at the projector screen and saw one of the photos she remembers dearly, one of her, Ted, Omen, and some of their first research crew. She felt her eyes water.

She slipped out of the room, unnoticed. She walked until she realized she was at a hallway that was reserved only for Kingdom employees. She needed this distraction Remembering she had her ID on, she explored the hallways and saw different labs and offices of the different divisions of the organization.

She slipped through the next door and saw a different kind of laboratory; the big glass panes were standard across all Kingdom facilities and this displayed stuff she did not expect –machinery. She did not know much about them but working for a while in the military told her that these were weaponry. Sentry guns, turrets, different explosives she could only imagine. There was a young woman surrounded by a group of men, she must be the head engineer. Sabine wondered if a girl that young knew what she was getting herself into.

Seeing a bunch of glowing green substances in from the lab glasses of the people told her that they were using Radianite. _That can’t be right._

She hurriedly made her way past the lab until she saw a doorway leading to the basement. Her instincts told her this could not be good, but her feet took her there anyway. It was a singular hallway with different doors on either side. There were no windows on some rooms, while some had. The air down was spine tingling, the same way she felt at Coleman’s office all those years ago. The smell was metallic, sharp, and it took her too late to realize the smell of formaldehyde.

She found herself clasping her mouth with her hand to stop her gasp out loud. The signs on the door read HUMAN EXPERIMENT 23. They were almost the same across all the other doors except for the growing number. That explained the coldness, the smell. She felt a violent urge to retch but managed to pull herself together. She did not need to go all the way to the end to know what was going on, knowing there was also a morgue down the line. She ran up all the way back to the hallway until she was stopped by one of the Kingdom guards, dressed in their black uniform.

“Ms. Coleman wants to see you.”

\--

There were a million thoughts racing in her mind so the only thing Sabine could focus on was her shaky breath. The guard escorted her to one of the top floors which opened to a hallway full of offices, the one at the end being Coleman’s.

When she got in, she was surprised to see the blinds all shut, casting an eerie glow in the room amidst all the sunlight. Coleman was at her desk, checking her computer. The office was much more suited to someone being the director of a global company, unlike the one she had in their laboratory in Washington.

“Sabine, please take a seat.”

Coleman stood up instead after Sabine defiantly refused. She paced around, looking at the otherwise shielded view of the window.

“I know it must be hard for you after losing Bowman, what a loss it must be for the research—”

“You always told me we didn’t have enough Radianite. But here you have enough of them to do a lot of other projects. Seems like you were holding out on us when you always had it to yourselves. What are you really doing with the Radianite, director?” she dangled the last word with disdain. There was no use dragging this out as this was what she was called for. The nerve of the woman to mention her friend’s name after seeing what she did.

“Very well. It’s true, we have always had more Radianite and what we’ve given your research unit was just a tiny part of it. I’ve told you, Sabine, we are looking for ways we can use Radianite. There are so many possibilities and we have yet to see its full potential, you of all people should know that.” She pointed out, waving her arms around like she was a lecturer.

“I agreed to your funding because I know it can be used to help people. But you’re here building arms and experimenting on people? Why are you doing this?” she spat out. She didn’t care if it came out rude.

“My dear, that was just one part of it. Kingdom is interested in the future. Focusing on just one thing, that’s a thing of the past. We will make pharmaceuticals out of Radianite, we will create next level weaponry, advance technology. And those people who have developed abnormalities with Radianite, giving them superhuman abilities? We will make that too, it’s still a work in progress. Just imagine how much power there is to gain. And soon enough, the entire world will need Kingdom.” Sabine hitched up her breath when she realized how unnerving Coleman was in her delivery.

“You’re a monster.”

“Oh, but it’s not like you didn’t help play your part, Sabine. The funding and the grant you received for the research helped give Kingdom early access to Radianite. Government rules did not allow its use to be exploited so soon but your research was in the pursuit of science, and that saved us a lot of lobbying.”

“You –used me?” Her arms were trembling, and she balled it into fists. She did not know of this feeling before, but she was seeing red.

“Do you think we’d allow you and Bowman to extract pure Radianite? You opened up that cave to Kingdom. In a few weeks, we’ll be setting up a mining facility just like our many others.”

Tears were threatening to fall in her anger but fought it for she did not want Coleman to have that satisfaction. Omen lost his life in what was a dangerous mission when Kingdom knew the risks. In that moment, all she could think about was how Ted was right. That sinking dread she felt all those years ago had bearing, the signs were all there, but she was stubborn enough to face it.

Coleman smirked as she stared back. “Ah Sabine—so young and naïve. At least you now know you are at the cusp of new history. First light was just the beginning, but Kingdom will prevail.” She sat at the center of her table, giving her a smirk. “Don’t you want to be on this side of history?”

“I’ll never want to be associated with you or Kingdom.” She said through gritted teeth.

“Very well. Now, knowing what you know there’s only two options for you. Hand over your Radianite research, every last bit of it, to Kingdom. Or watch us take _everything_ you love.”

\--

“Sabine? Sabine, what’s wrong?”

She tried to compose herself in the cab ride back to Washington. She can’t let Kingdom take away everything she has worked for. She can find a way to keep everyone she loves close.

“Ted listen, you’re right about Kingdom, they used my research to use Radianite for themselves keep them more powerful. I’m getting all my files at the lab and go to the old lab I used to work at in downtown Seattle. Take Emery and fly to Alaska where my parents are. You’ll be safe there. There’s no Kingdom there.” There was silence on the other end of the line. “Please.”

“Please tell me you’re alright. What did they tell you?”

“I’m fine.” She sighed. “They want to make weapons, bombs, technology, out of Radianite. They are experimenting on humans. All of this in a bid to be the most powerful organization in the world. It was so sick.”

“This is even worse than I thought.” Ted said in disbelief. She could imagine him take out his glasses, rubbing at his nose. “How about your research? Will they take that away?”

“I can’t give them my research, Ted. I’ve spent years on this, I can’t give them what they’re asking. Not yet at least. I just need a week to finish the testing and that’s it. I’ve been putting this off because of what happened to Omen, but I can’t stop now, not when I’m so close. I’ll sort out my stuff in Seattle first then meet you back there in Alaska.”

“I trust you’ll do what you need to do. Don’t worry about us. Please be safe, Sabine.”

She swallowed a lump on her throat.

“I’ll be back.” She hated that she wasn’t sure so herself.

“Love you.”

She held her breath. “I’ll make sure to tell you that in person, bye Ted.” 

\--

When she arrived back in Washington, she ran through the halls of the Kingdom facility and went to her lab which was empty that day. She got her hard drive and started backing up all the files in the computer. She swathed through a lot of folders to get the important ones she stuffed that into an empty box.

She tapped her fingers on the metal desk. The backup was taking longer than expected. She looked around her but the people passing their lab paid her no mind. When the backup was finished, she deleted the files permanently on the computer. She put the drive in the box with the rest of the important files and carried it out. She stopped, giving one last look around the laboratory that had been her home for the past few years.

She shook her head. She couldn’t get sentimental now. She briskly walked outside the premises and got a cab to go to downtown.

\--

Being back at the lab downtown in Seattle was almost like coming home.

There was buzz about her return because of how important they had known her research for Kingdom was. Seeing the faces of her past mentors and colleagues made her realize how much they admired her success. _If only they knew,_ she thought. She couldn’t bring to tell them about the horrible truth, deciding that it was better to leave them out of her mess.

She had spent nights and days in the lab in what seemed like the longest week of her life, sleeping in the tiny sleeping quarters there, hoping to finish her experiment. The extraction that happened in South Africa was not all for naught as they were able to record the necessary information about how Radianite reacted. She just had to finish the tests and she could see if the chemical she was producing could bond with the substance, activating its regenerative properties.

The problem was the test took days to manifest its result. Ted and Emery had arrived in Alaska and were staying with her parents in their home the day after she told them. But as the days clocked on, Sabine felt heavier in her shoulders for what she was asking of everyone, just because of her research.

She left to go out one night when she needed to get some good coffee from the local coffee shop. It had been getting harder to stay awake and she knew how bad she needed it. It started raining really hard, a thunderstorm, and she hurried to get back to the lab.

When she got there, she found the door ajar.

She got inside and saw papers everywhere on the floor, spilled water making ink bleed; broken test tubes and microscopes; chairs thrashed around. In the corner of the room, something started to spew smoke. She saw one of her colleagues on the ground, with a bleeding forehead. He was one of the few lucky ones who still were conscious.

She went to help him up.

“What happened?” He looked dazed but his eyes registered when he saw her face.

“Armed troops came, all wearing black. They were looking for you. I told them you were away. But they started destroying everything, hurting people.” He whimpered in pain.

She rummaged to find where her lab area was. She was distraught to see that the tests she had set aside for inspection were not left unscathed by Kingdom. Broken test tubes, equipment, soiled notes and files. She saved what she can and put them inside her briefcase. What caught her eye was that the color of the test tube liquid changed from clear to green. She used a piece of paper to touch the green substance and saw it disintegrate into her eyes.

It failed. Her calculations were wrong and the Radianite chemical solution had produced acidic properties instead.

As she stood up and took in the destruction she had caused in this lab. It was her nightmare come to life. The destroyed lab, the stormy night. So much of her colleagues dead, hurt because of her. A growing weight formed in her chest. Coleman stayed true to her promise and that meant--- _no she can’t think about that now._

\--

With the nearest plane ride, she arrived at Alaska with just her briefcase. She took the first cab she saw and gave instructions to her parent’s home. She was able to breathe easier when she saw the familiar silhouette of the house that she grew up in, the cobblestone fence, the faded beige paint, but it was not enough to comfort her anxiety.

She got out of the cab, cold air against her skin and hurriedly ran to the door. With a slight push, it swung open, and at the moment all the blood rushed to her head. Her legs wobbled and she felt vertigo as she walked through the house and saw the wallpaper torn to shreds, pieces of memorabilia all over the floor, furniture toppled over, defaced the same way the lab was. She fell to her knees.

Next to the living room, she saw Ted’s broken glasses next to his limp, lifeless arm.

_Watch us take everything you love._

She steadied herself with the nearest thing she could grab –the stair banister. She felt the wind get knocked out of her lungs, a tremor shake in her entire body.

A sob erupted from inside of her, shaking her limbs as she backed herself up against the wall. Each breath in was like poison she had to exhale out in tears.

Her parents, fiancé, child, Omen, and colleagues –people she brought into her mess, all because she was so obsessed with her research. How many people would get hurt or put in danger because of her? What was the point of her work, when there was nobody –nobody that was left for her?

All she could think of at that moment was not being able to make good on her promise to Ted. She thought about her child. Pain crept up from her chest at the thought that she was not even a good enough mother. Emery was not part of her plan, but she didn’t have to act like it.

Omen was right, she was supposed to be focusing on other things besides just the work, and now he wasn’t even there to see it through. The knowledge that she always chose her work over her family carved out this new hole inside of her that she will be paying for the rest of her life.

She thought about the many things she would not get to do ever again, being able to take care of her parents when they get old, growing old with Ted, Emery’s entire life ahead of him. All gone, and it was her fault. Even if these were not futures she had in mind of herself, she robbed herself and the people she loved of a possibility of a future.

Hers was a path of destruction, an endless tunnel with no light at the end. That clawing sense of dread that had always been lurking at the depths of her core was always inside of her, and she did not try to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is such a crucial part of what makes her character the Viper we know now, or at least my take on it. Hope you enjoy the read so far!


	4. Anger

Pain had a weird way of working. Nothing hurt but everything hurt at the same time. Someone might as well have ripped her insides. She could not bear a funeral—it was just a slap in the face of everything she had failed to do.

After the pain, came the ugly, horrible nights of crying herself to sleep in hopes to avoid another nightmare. The nightmares were still the same, the disfigured shadow, running in the labyrinth-like corridors of Kingdom, the stormy night in the Seattle lab. The only difference this time was that the shadow did not scare her as it used to –maybe it was her all along. The hardest part about the nightmares was seeing the faces of people she let down, Ted, Emery, Omen, her colleagues, and her parents. If she cried herself to sleep, at least she was too tired to dream and just fall into a dull and lifeless sleep.

Then there came the anger. Boiling from the depths of her stomach, trying to get out. This was different from the anger of losing Omen. She was mad at Sage, for letting her down on her promise to take care of him. It was easier to be mad at someone whose reflection didn’t follow you.

She stayed in motels to erase every nook and cranny of the life she lived. Every bit of her identity was a reminder of a feeling that choked the wind out of her lungs.

Then came nothingness. Not being able to feel any emotion at all. The feeling of seeing life in front of you, but not being able to do anything about it. Days bled into one another; nights were just for sleeping. 

Something snapped in Sabine.

No, she can’t even call or identify herself with that person anymore. That person cost her all her life’s work and all the people she cared about because she was too ambitious, naïve, and self-absorbed. She was a shell of a person she used to be. Not a human –barely living, just existing.

She thought back to the days she worked at the military lab. They called her Viper. At first, she hated it, but now, it made utter sense. The name actually suited her. Everyone she had met, she had been poisoning slowly until they all died eventually. She’ll be Viper instead.

She was foolish to think there were corporations who were interested in doing the altruistic good like she did, when all they cared about was money and power. It only cost her so much. In the pursuit of looking out for humanity and a greater cause, she lost sight of the things that should matter.

That won’t happen again. This time, the only thing she’ll be looking out for is number one. With so little to care about, nothing could hurt her that way again.

She had decided to move places, situating herself in the wind city of Chicago. The further away she was from places that reminded her of Sabine’s past and failures, the better. She had rented a new place that was a flat that had a great view downtown.

She threw out all her old clothes that served as a reminder of her past self –how could she have ever worn bright colors before? She threw away her glasses. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she couldn’t recognize the green-eyed female in front of her. She grabbed kitchen scissors and cut her shoulder-length jet black hair until it framed her jaw. Locks fell down the floor and she imagined the weight of her past self-disappear. When she looked at herself again, there was no more traces left of Sabine. Just Viper. She liked that.

She had promised herself not to touch on her research again but being left alone to sit with her thoughts and feelings was so excruciating. Instead, she did the only thing she knew to do –get to work, like gears in a machine. She converted half the place into a lab –the only kind of place she felt comfort in. With work there was no feeling, just doing. She was always good at that.

_Watch us take everything you love._ She shut her eyes. When she opened them, she knew what she had to do.

She had remembered the last test result from the lab in Seattle. It gave way to acid. Sabine’s last effort had some use after all. She started writing down the formula and computations at the top of her head. How easily it came back to her came as a surprise, still muscle memory. She was always a brilliant chemist, at least she still had that. With a bit of the Radianite samples with her, it would suffice.

_I will come for Coleman. I will take from them what they took from me._ Those thoughts repeated on Viper’s head over and over as she went to work, like clockwork. If this is what will keep her going, she’d want nothing more than to fuel this fire.

\--

It took two years, but Viper was sure of her work.

Almost a decade of accumulated research but she was actually able to see it come true. She was able to fully tap into Radianite to produce acid and toxins. They worked on the lab rats and most certainly would be potent enough for humans. This was a potent kind, enhanced by the Radianite. Of course, she was the only one immune to this, devising her own mask with air filters much more sophisticated than factory-produced gas masks.

How fast she was able to pursue her own objectives proved to her that serving the greater good really had no purpose, but a long road to misery.

She forgot the feeling of happiness. It also took time, but she had learned the art of drowning all her other thoughts, quiet her feelings. But the sense of scientific accomplishment is something she remembered and can relish in. She popped a bottle of wine as she pulled up records of where Coleman often stays. She sat in her black ottoman chair, reading notes of Coleman’s home security as she sipped on a wine glass. Viper decided that she was ready to take on a real test subject.

Sneaking inside the property was easier than it looked. She studied the place and its security enough times to know what to do to the second. She was able to bypass the alarm in the gate and was able to open the window and get inside the house undetected.

Coleman lived alone and that made it all easier for her to infiltrate. Just like smoke through lungs.

She carefully made her way up the room. Passing a shelf that was glassed with all of Coleman’s achievements gave Viper a glimpse of her own reflection. The mask that covered half her face made her unrecognizable, her custom black suit letting her blend in with the shadows.

When she got to the right bedroom, she saw Coleman asleep, with her hair showing signs of graying. She looked so peaceful. It still curled her stomach to know such a monster resided underneath that skin. Not to worry –she would rid the world of the monster soon, the last favor she was doing for the world. Sabine would have felt hesitation at this moment she was sure, but she’s dead now. Viper does not hesitate.

“We meet again, well, for the last time.” She spoke, smiling from underneath her mask, muffling her voice.

Coleman turned her head before slowly opening her eyes. She looked surprise to see a masked figure in front of her. “Who are you?”

“I believe we haven’t met. I go by Viper now. Sabine is dead, just like what you will be when my poison is done with you.” She nonchalantly said.

“Sabine--?” Realization was just starting to register in her eyes.

“Maybe I should thank you for ridding the world of Sabine. She was always weak, who knew underneath all that genius was this rage waiting to get out. Remember –I’m your monster, you made me this way.” She paced around the room.

“Doing this won’t change anything. You know it.” Coleman still capable of her venomous way of speaking in her soon-to-be deathbed. “Look at us, both alone in this world. Guess who really won?”

Viper hissed. “Nothing would give me more pleasure than this, believe me, woman.”

“Kingdom won. Nothing you do here could stop it.”

Before Coleman could say more, Viper released toxic smoke from her hands, connected to the posion pack she was wearing at her back. The room was filled with green smoke, engulfing the both of them, the only difference being, Viper was free of its direct effects. Coleman started couching and gasping for air. They started out faint until they were ear-piercing. To Viper, it was music to her ears. They all die the same, lab rats and humans alike.

“Pathetic.” She said once it was done, leaving the place with no trace of her, like a thief in the night.

\--

“Word on the street is you go by Viper now.”

“What do you want, Old Dog.” She spat. The middle-aged guy had pepper hair, a goatee, and a physique that gave away years of military experience. He showed up at her flat unannounced which told her that he had to do some digging to find her all the way in her new place in Chicago. As someone who valued solitude, Brimstone would not be spared from her annoyance.

“Listen Sabi—” She hissed, giving him a death stare. “Listen Viper, I know what you’ve been through. I’m sorry. We’ve all been through a lot. Years have been tough for me when I had to retire from the Army. It was my only purpose you know, seeing that stripped away was hard. My battalion had a run in with Kingdom mercenaries, you know how they can be. So much of my men lost all because of their mad exploits to get and control Radianite. Some of those men I consider like my own sons.” He was talking to her like her father would and that irritated Viper to her core.

“Don’t come here with your ‘I know what you’ve been through’” she paced back and forth. “Do you know what it’s like to have your very existence being the reason for your own suffering? Spare me the pity, Old Dog.”

She faced Brimstone, with her piercing green eyes. “You know _what_ —you don’t come barging into my personal space to give me pity. Get out.”

He shifted his footing. “I want to get back at Kingdom. I have an idea and I think you’re the best person for the job.”

“If I am the best person for the job then you are lost.” She scoffed.

“Don’t you even want to hear the idea, how to fight back Kingdom—an organization that has hurt us and countless others.”

“There’s no point, Brimstone. They are a global organization with all the resources at their disposal. They already know how to harness Radianite. You must be really getting old if you think…” She poured herself a bottle of Tequila. Brimstone just stared at how she was able to down a glass without a flinch.

“But listen, I plan to recruit it with Radiants. Radiants like Sage, and more from the other corners of the globe. Radianite users like you, me.”

She raised a finger. “Don’t bring up her name.”

“Don’t you want your revenge Viper? This is the moment you’re waiting for.” He said as if it were a punchline to win her over.

“You’re too late, I already got my revenge on Coleman. Call it my special blend of toxin gas. Instant, painless, untraceable.” She said holding up one of her green vials she kept in her pocket.

“But that can’t be it. You have to want more. Kingdom isn’t just Director Coleman. You and I both know that. I believe setting up this group of Radiants is how we’re getting back at them and have a winning chance. After years of always following orders like a good soldier working for them, I’m standing up for myself, for everyone.”

“Good for you but I don’t do that kind of work anymore Brimstone. I only look out for myself now. It’s easier this way.” She raised her hand. She paced around, pointing at her place, full of sleek furniture, expensive lab equipment. “Do you see how this is possible? It’s all because I could do what I want and not owe the world anything. I’m surprised years in the military didn’t teach you to look out for yourself more, Brimstone. Still living in that ratty old flat? After all these years, you still want to give and give when this world doesn’t owe you anything back.”

Brimstone started at her with sad eyes. “You’ve really changed, huh. You used to be this bright minded scientist who had so much ideas, who wasn’t fazed by anything. You used to want to heal the world.” He sighed. “As much as we laughed at that idea back then, it’s what the world needed.”

“I’m still a bright minded scientist, don’t you worry about that. Just not the one you were hoping for.” She exhaled, shaking her head as she took another swig at the tequila. “I’m smarter, better, more confident than I ever was.”

“Just think Viper. Somewhere out there, there’s a Sabine who wants to save those she loves. Don’t you want to help them? The Sabines of this world.”

She scoffed. “Well Sabine is so blind to the realities of the world. Not everything is a fairytale. One scientific breakthrough does not save people. There are evil people out there, systemic corruption, deeply rooted problems in society that cannot be fixed by a pipe dream. Sometimes your life is a damn tragedy and that’s fine too.”

Brimstone nodded, accepting apparent defeat. He was heading for the door before turning around. “Lost my kid too, I’d want him to know his dad is trying to save the world. No matter how hopeless it seems. You would know that.” He shut the door and disappeared before Viper threw the bottle of tequila at the wall, spilling the drink all over her pristine tiles.

She let out a scream and felt tremors in her hands. He knew how to get to her, and she hated him for that. But she also hated that he was right in some way. Killing Coleman did not stop the nightmares, the guilt, the anger. It was all placebo. What did she want?

_Look at us, both alone in this world._ The ability of Coleman’s words to still haunt her and get under her skin was beyond her.

She calmed down her breaths into a steady rhythm like she taught herself all those years ago. Think, not feel. She clutched at her toxin vial. If there was anything certain in the world, it was that acid always disintegrated. For now that was enough for her.

\--

Viper rapped her knuckles on the wooden door of a beat down apartment.

Sure enough, Brimstone emerged from the other side, his statuesque height filling the doorframe. There was softness in his eyes when he realized it was her.

“Sa—Viper, what brings you here?”

“I have been thinking about your—proposition and I have one of my own.” Brimstone looked at her before nodding, telling her to come in.

The place was so unlike her own place, instead of industrial, monochromatic furniture, Brimstone’s flat had looked like he just had a yard sale –there was stuff strewn everywhere, tufts of cotton were peeking out of the couch, the carpet filled with stains in different shades. It looked exactly like she had remembered all those years ago that she visited once.

Plenty of pictures adorned the wall. There was one of a much younger Brimstone, before his hair turned salt and peppery, with his wife and teenage son. Viper scowled at how he can keep these photos around when they were just a bitter reminder of what he lost.

He led her to the kitchen area where he opened her a bottle of beer. She declined and sat down.

“So…let’s hear it.” He said as he settled down across her.

“You want to build a group with Radianite powered people. I need Radianite for my own purposes, these toxins are just the beginning for me and my research. The possibilities are endless, what better way to get Radianite and knowledge than with this little band of misfits you want to put up.” She set her hands firmly on the table. “Whatever the mission is, I want to have some of the Radianite for my own, that is my deal.”

“So you’re in?” He raised eyebrows, seeing excitement in the old man’s eyes.

“Whatever _in_ means. Just let me do my experiments in peace with the Radianite. If we take down Kingdom, I’d love no better place to be than at the front seat.”

He smiled and spread his arms for a hug to which Viper leaned away from, but the reaction did not throw him off one bit. “Was that what changed your mind?”

“Hurting those who hurt me is the only way out of this. And you’re right, Coleman is not enough.”

“We may have different methods but if you’re in then that’s great.” There was this twinkle in his eyes that she recognized from the first time they met all those years ago. “Look at us, together again just like with the old squad.”

“Spare me the nostalgia, Brimstone.” She waved, dismissively.

“Hey, we’re old friends and nothing will change that, Viper. You looked out for me that time when we had to stop this group of chemical warfare mercenaries. I can’t forget that. This is just me repaying you the favor. I think this Valorant protocol I have in mind will be good for you, being around other people again—”

“You don’t owe me anything. I’m not here to socialize, let’s just let work be work and you won’t have any problems here.”

“Speaking of friends…” He rubbed at his goatee, his eyes fixated on something in the distance. “Actually, the next step, I’m not so sure if it was a good thing or bad thing that you’re here right on time. But I figured, it’s best to get this over with.”

Viper frowned. “Cut to the chase, what is it?”

“Our first Radiant. I just got info about it a couple of weeks ago. Couldn’t believe my eyes too.” He met her eyes with a look she hadn’t seen from the Old Dog. She held her breath. “He’s alive, Omen’s alive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has probably been my favorite chapter to write thus far, letting you see deep into Sabine's head. Thanks for reading and do let me know your thoughts!


	5. Interlude: Atonement

A million thoughts and an uneasy stomach followed Viper as she rode an old pickup truck beside Brimstone on the night of the breakout. The news that knowing Omen was alive is not an easy truth to come to terms with. It excavated this part inside of her that she had long buried, and what resurfaced was a feeling like being seasick. What shape is he in if he survived the rift? What has Kingdom done to him all those years? All of those thoughts made Viper unsettled, reminding her of that basement hallway with Kingdom’s human experiments –like rats in a lab.

“The short hair looks kinda good on you.” Brimstone broke away at the silence. “Adds to the mysterious Viper aura.”

She gave him a dead stare which made him train his eyes back on the road. She couldn’t blame him—the air was really thick. What would they be seeing if this breakout would be successful?

“How are you sure it’s…him.”

He kept his eyes on the road, one hand on the steering wheel. “I was able to intercept some data from Kingdom. It’s info I’ve known for a while, that they do human experiments. This one was like by chance, ‘cause they listed the names and details of the experiments. I saw his name, Bowman. Who else could it be?” He looked back at her seeing that she was silent. His voice turned soft, “I know you two were close, this can be pretty unset—”

“We’re getting him out.” She said firmly. Brimstone nodded in agreement, not prodding further. She never felt more sure of anything since joining Brimstone.

The Texan desert was sparse but, in the distance, the looming silhouette of Kingdom’s research facility was unmistakable. She steadied her breath and put on her mask.

The plan was simple: they Brimstone would infiltrate and cause a scene with his flash smokes while Viper went to the lab area, to the holding cell where Omen was. If things go wrong, well—Viper always had her toxins.

Infiltrating was easy, it was finding Omen that Viper thought to be hard. Kingdom never had the best security, she would know, as well as Brimstone, having worked there. When the alarms blazed after Brim’s smokes, Viper ran to where she knew the laboratory section was. Because everyone was running to where Brimstone was, that left her unnoticed to do the job.

When she got to the hallway, she started looking at the signs in front of the doors. Names of the humans were printed, alongside the number of tests done on them. When she got to the end of the hallway, she saw “BOWMAN” printed there, and underneath, were rows upon rows of recorded tests.

She curled her fist. She opened the door with the keypass Brimstone had stolen. What she saw was a purple cloaked figure cuffed, sitting down on the bench. There was something sinister, he didn’t appear human anymore. With each breath, wisps of matter flew around him. He was wearing Kingdom plated armor that looked like it was trying to keep his core in, core of pure blue energy, the one Viper saw with her very eyes in South Africa.

She swallowed and approached him to uncuff him with the keypass. “We’re getting you out.”

The figure tilted his head to the side. Would he remember her? The keypass turns out, was not enough to remove his cuffs, which was a new and different technology from Kingdom. She cursed.

“Lockdown initiated.” The announcer rang through the PA. The lights shut off, giving way to red emergency lights.

“We have no time.” She grabbed his cuffed hand and for a second, it felt like she was grasping for air until it materialized back to solid. She pulled Omen as they made their way through the corridors.

“Viper come in, please tell me you got him.” Brimstone came into her earpiece.

“Affirmative.” She said, looking back at Omen, who was pure darkness underneath the hood.

“Cause I’ve got problems of my own. I can get out of here, but you can’t come here, too much guards. Please tell me you have a way out.”

Viper looked around. They were still at the other wing of the facility, and in no time, they too would be surrounded.

“I’ll smoke this area off and we can leave through the transport bay, just around the area.” She said.

Omen raised his cuffs. For the first time he spoke, bellowing breath as if his voice came from everywhere at once. “These cannot leave the facility. It’s their new tech.”

She felt anger rising up her chest. “I’m _not_ leaving you. Not this time.” She has not experienced such strong emotion in her voice in a while but how much more guilt can she survive in a lifetime, she did not want to know.

“Go, I’ll follow you. Trust me.” She stared at the darkness where his face should be, she saw blue core energy like lines start to emerge instead of eyes. Groups of guards started going in their direction, Viper nodded to Omen. She threw one of her poison orb prototypes. Green smoke hissed out of the canister and filled the room. She made her way out to go to the transport bay as the soldiers coughed.

The transport bay was open, and it gave her line of sight to the shed where Brimstone parked their truck, she ran for the location, surprised to see Brimstone panting, leaning against the truck.

“Where’s Omen?” He asked.

“He told me he’d find us, the new handcuffs from Kingdom the keypass couldn’t work through it. You said you thought this plan through.” She jabbed.

He cursed under his breath. “So they upgraded their tech. That’s the work of one of my protégé’s. That’s a topic for another time. How will he get out?”

Beside them, the air rippled like a mini cyclone. A purple wisp of matter swirled around them, forming the figure of a person, until it materialized into the purple cloaked figure that was Omen. The moment he materialized, he staggered, his form getting fuzzy like static for a moment.

Viper saw that his cuffs were gone. Brimstone got into the truck and looked at them, “What are you two waiting for? Let’s get outta here!”

\--

In the old warehouse turned new Valorant protocol headquarters –as Brimstone called it, which he spent his entire retirement fund on, Viper spent days watching Omen figuring out his abilities. Tech was not the older man’s expertise but being part of the operations division of Kingdom made him exposed to the kind of tech they used.

The armor Kingdom gave him turns out, was the only thing tethering his essence together. Otherwise, he would be blown apart, much like the wisps of matter he teleported into. After some prodding, Brimstone hung up his gear.

“I’m not good at this. I’ve sent out word to my protégé, the one I told you about. I think of her as one of my kids, but she’s great at this stuff, way way smarter than me. If there’s anyone who can help Omen, it’s her.” Brimstone sighed. “One reeks of death and one is aloof, could use some cheering up around here.” He muttered the last part almost to himself as he retired to his office space from the laboratory.

Viper tensed up when left alone with Omen, who sat on the metal table. How does one go about this? A week ago, she knew him to be dead, a fraction of a memory of her old self. His death was just one of the things that helped her arrive where she was today.

He never made any inclination that he remembered her. He was silent for the most part, just staying in the quarters Brimstone provided of him, which really was just an old storage space-turned room.

From the looks alone, he was nothing like the Omen she knew. His ruggedly handsome face, his warm aura, were all gone. In his stead was a shadow of a person, all markings of personal identity gone, giving off a chilling aura as if he were everywhere at the same time. Brimstone was right, he felt like death. And it was a feeling Viper experienced many times in her life to come to that conclusion.

Viper realized she was staring at him and turned away, ready to leave.

“Like rats in a lab.” He breathed in his low voice.

She stopped in her tracks.

In her eyes flashed young Sabine throwing mean glances towards Omen who was goofing off, disrupting her concentration when doing a pH test. ‘ _I’ll throw this on you,’_ she threatened, not intimidated that the guy was taller than her.

That made Omen chuckle more. ‘ _If I didn’t know you I wouldn’t think for someone your size would have this much temper—'_

_‘I swear Bowman, you’ll meet your end like—'_

_‘Rats in a lab. Yeah yeah, you always say that.’_

She unclenched her fist, composing herself, before storming out of the lab.

\--

It was not easy moving most of her lab to the new Valorant headquarters, but if she was going to need their help, she had to work there. But by the time most of the important instruments and equipment were moved, she couldn’t be disturbed nor separated from her experiments. The prototype of her poison orb needed some rework and that was what she spent her days on.

On one of the nights, she spent experimenting on toxin gas on a dozen lab rats. It was repetitive at times, but the thrill of discovery was always there. She neatly scrawled the figures for how long until they stopped breathing. This was a record, shorter by a third of her first blend.

It was 2 AM so she thought after a successful run, she could take an earlier break. She was about to leave her seat when she felt the air shift tides.

A breathy voice accompanied the sudden cold air. “Sabine.”

She froze before she closed her notebooks and tidied her workstation. So he did remember. “Don’t say _her_ name. She’s gone.”

“I don’t remember much –things come and go. Much like me now. But I remember a few things…your name is one of them.”

Viper turned to him with a cold look. “Do you remember your name?”

“Omen... argh things are fuzzy.” He spat, Viper hearing for the first-time anger in his voice. His form shuddered as he let out frustration.

“What do you remember?” She had full attention on him now.

“The cavern. Radianite, pure Radianite. There was an extraction attempt. I just touched it…. I got ripped apart. It was like it chose me. And then I was gone.” There was something wistful about his tone. “The next thing I remember were the experiments. I could not feel anything, they were just flashes of events. How they got me back together…I don’t know.”

“Did you know, why they were trying to bring you back? Why they turned you into…this.”

“A teleportation project of some sort…Plenty of other humans like me, I could hear their screams…All the same end…But it’s hard to remember…Time does not exist for me now the way it does for humans.”

“What happened to you?” Omen might as well have floated with how he moved, as he made his way around the lab. She looked at him, tense whenever people came close to her work. “You used to heal, Sabine.” He passed by the cage of dead lab rats.

She hung her head low, trying to stop her hand from shaking.

“The shadows of ourselves, the monsters that we’ve become. We’re not so different, you and I after all.”

She met his eyes, or wherever they were underneath his hood. He would not know of the tragedy she had experienced, he would not know her pain, her anger. Nobody could.

“If I’m a monster then so be it. I’ll prove them right.” She said defiantly.

“I feel your rage, Sabine.” He breathed. “I guess it was always under your skin even then.”

“Stop. Calling. Me. That.” She exhaled with each breath.

“Deep down, she’s in there. I want her to know it’s okay to let it go.” He exhaled in his deep voice. “I had to die. It’s not your fault.”

Her lip trembled. He still had that talent of knowing what she was thinking or without really saying it. “And what about everybody else? It doesn’t matter. You know what’s the sad truth Omen? I’m the villain of my own story – _nothing_ will change that.”

“Kingdom made you into this, just like how it turned me into this. Now, I don’t think I will ever know peace.”

“Kingdom is to blame, but it’s not like I didn’t get everyone in trouble. Doing things for myself, that’s the only way to not get hurt _again_.” She said dismissively.

Omen stared at her, silent. “But you’re here with Brimstone trying to stop Kingdom. There’s so much conflict inside of you.”

She tried to busy herself with her notes. “I’m doing it for my experiments, my work, nothing more. If you think not then you’re mistaken, old friend. So much has changed since.”

“So much has changed but nothing can change my death. Do me a favor. The fight for Kingdom does nothing for me. I’m dead. But you can help me get peace. Help me remember being human. Help me piece my past. I need your secrets, Sabine.”

“I’m not promising anything.”

Omen just stood there, still like darkness. “No promises between us, Sabine.”

She exhaled, feeling the anger slowly seep away as the wind left her lungs. This was something she had practiced countless times, to feel less and just do. Viper thought of the irony. How she tried her hardest to erase her past self and now Omen needed her to remember his. Their fates were still tangled together from the moment she met him all those years ago, partners in Kingdom’s orientation. The thought of Omen disappearing from her nightmares, lessening the guilt that she had stuffed inside of her. Maybe this had to happen, so she could pay for her sins, at least some of it.

Omen made his way out of the lab. Viper found herself calling back to him, faint enough but something he could hear. “I’m glad you’re back.”

He tilted his head, an antic Omen used to do when he smiled. She could almost see that smile of his that gave him a dimple in his left cheek. For a second, it felt like none of this was real and she was just Sabine in the lab working alongside Omen. Then Omen made a gesture and he disappeared in wisps of gray smoke, reminding Viper that this was real, he was barely human, and she was alone, crushed by the weight of her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wasn't initially part of the planned story I had in mind but I just had to include this. Enjoy some Viper and Omen!


	6. Hope

Ever since Brimstone took in his protégé, German engineer genius Killjoy, things started going well for the Valorant headquarters. For one, she was able to make repairs to Omen’s armor, giving temporary relief that he wouldn’t just dematerialize any moment. The rest of the tech in the facility was also upgraded, much to Brimstone’s delight.

The mood also turned different in the headquarters. Viper was not much the best company, and Omen was doing his own thing, mostly in isolation, so the engineer’s presence was infectious especially to Brimstone, who doted on her as if she was his own daughter.

Viper spent most of her days holed up in her lab, so she wasn’t able to get much time alone with the new recruit.

She could not explain why but there she was making a photo album of all the photos she could find of Omen. It was hard, being so tangled up in the past. Seeing a photo of the three of them with Ted was almost a knee-jerk reaction for Viper as she knocked off the flask next to her, containing acid. It smashed on the floor, releasing the substance.

“Everything alright?” said an upbeat voice from the doorway.

“Yeah, it’s nothing.” She said as she bent down to pick up the broken shards of glass. Viper looked to see the tall engineer walk her way to the lab, looking around like a child. This struck a nerve for her. She did not give her permission to barge in.

“Nice lab you got in here. _Interessant_ (interesting), as we say.” She went on.

When Viper was finished cleaning up the mess, she sized the engineer, not obviously getting a hint that she wanted to be left alone. She was wearing a yellow jacket with different cartoon patches stitched on them, over skinny jeans, sneakers, and round frames. She clearly was young, but her getup sure did not match her age. The girl caught her stare and raised her thick eyebrows. “Oh I’m so sorry –I haven’t formally introduced myself.” The girl pulled out a calling card from her pocket with a cartoon chick on the front. “People call me Killjoy.”

Viper reluctantly took it. She had not even the ounce of strength to continue this conversation, but the other girl went on. “You’ve worked with Brimstone before, _ja?_ He told me a lot about you from when you worked together in the military.”

She decided to ride wherever this was going and amuse the girl. “Good things, I hope.”

“Of course!” Killjoy’s eyes lit up, not getting how sarcastic her comment was. “One of the brightest chemists, he always says. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Well, we have met days ago but not like, alone.”

Killjoy looked somewhere behind Viper and walked up to the cage containing the white lab rats. “Ohh, little mice! Always a pleasure seeing other critters. What will become of them?”

“Dead. When I’m done with them.”

Killjoy nodded, as if the idea did not scare her one bit. “You have a lot of interesting stuff right here. I would love to understand the mechanics of—”

“Please don’t touch anything.” She said sternly, feeling her blood start to boil.

“This is all genius setup. I would love to know more about it.” She said, not showing any signs of taking a hint.

There was silence as Viper did not know what to say. She put her foot to the ground. “Do you mind? I’m very busy right now.”

“Right. Well, if you need to talk to anyone about your research, my ears are always free to listen. I’m your girl.” Just the way she came in, she bounced her way out.

Viper found herself furrowing her eyebrows. The Killjoy girl was definitely weird. She had not the faintest clue she was stepping in on uncharted territory. She made a mental note to explicitly put a sign that she must not be disturbed. 

\--

One night, after finishing tests, she found herself in front of Omen’s door.

She knocked and the door opened to Omen sitting down at the foot of his bed, knitting yarn and a needle. “It helps me concentrate.” He said in explanation.

She nodded, not that she needed one. “I came to give you something.”

She handed the photo album she had been working on the past few weeks to her friend. He took it with both hands. He opened the first page to see a picture of himself at twelve years old, taken from his elementary yearbook. He traced his hand on the photos, as if he was scared they would dissolve just like him.

“I put all that I could find. Hope that…helps.”

“Thank you, Sabine.” She let him call her that. It was only Omen, and he _was_ a good friend.

He flipped a page during the days that he started working for Kingdom. The photo was the one of the whole research team. “We worked for them…we did horrible things. The one in Morocco…”

Viper shuddered. It was a story she preferred not to remember.

He flipped to the next page. They were just pictures of Sabine and Omen together whether while at work or outside of it. Omen traced his finger on the photos. “These aren’t complete. Why aren’t they complete?”

She held her breath. She cut out all pictures of Ted. There was no reason Omen needed to see that—no reason she had to see them. She didn’t think he would notice.

“There are some things I’d rather not remember.” She crossed her arms.

“Memories are all I have of me.” He looked at her, the blue stripes under his hood casting a faint glow. “He loved you, you know.”

A lump formed at her throat. “Don’t go there.” She warned.

“Brimstone told me what happened.” He started.

“I’m going to kill him.” She decided.

“If you keep avoiding the topic, how will you move on?” That made the noise inside of her quiet down. She would not imagine heeding Omen’s advice when he was live, much less now.

“Why do you want to remember if it’s only a painful reminder that you’re not who you used to be?” She threw back at him.

He seemed to be in thought before responding. “I don’t feel emotion the way people do. Remembering, even if it is painful reminds me that I too, was human. Feeling pain, makes me feel alive. Even momentarily.”

Viper thought back to the last time she felt genuine pain. She struggled to think of a concrete answer. Not caring about anything, not feeling was always the easier thing to do. Omen was right, they _were_ no different from each other, just monsters alike.

\--

Soon Brimstone started getting word from more and more recruits. Almost simultaneously was the Russian hunter named Sova, who had a keen eye, and the Moroccan surveillance expert, Cypher. Viper could not be bothered as she was not recruited by Brimstone to socialize and getting to advance her work was the only thing important.

There was tension in the air however when one night, the Chinese healer, Sage, came to the headquarters. Even after all those years, the anger curling inside for the Radiant could not be quieted. Brimstone not even telling her beforehand that Sage was coming was a slap in her face.

When everyone spent their time talking to Sage about what happened to her recent pilgrimage, Viper stormed back into her lab. She started busying herself with transferring notes to her computer.

“Are you still mad at her?” Omen asked, standing next to her as if he had just teleported. “I can feel your aura change.”

She didn’t face him. “Don’t use your powers on me.”

He did not budge, still standing there and disturbing her presence.

“She promised to take care of you and look how great that turned out to be.” She remarked.

“I was the one who touched the Radianite. She warned me. That I remember.”

“Doesn’t matter. She was there because she was supposed to have your back. She still could have stopped.” Viper stated as if they were facts of the matter.

“It will change nothing, I’m dead. It’s been a long time, Sabine. I can forgive her, can’t you?”

She sighed, hanging her head low. He still had the ability of getting her to come around.

That night when everyone else had retired to their quarters, she knocked at where Sage was staying. The door opened to the healer wearing her silk robes with surprised look on her face.

“Viper, you’re here.” _She clearly got the memo about the name at least,_ she thought.

She crossed her arms. “I was harsh on you the last time we met. Now that we’re working together, might as well say that…you better not fail us, not again.”

The girl tilted her head, a smile appearing in her lips. “Is this an apology?” Viper cursed in her mind that she must have looked really uncomfortable.

“I’m serious.” She emphasized.

Sage nodded. “No, I was young then, I did some bad choices too. I used to think I could save everyone. Now I know that’s not true.” She sighed. “I wasn’t strong before, but now I am.” Viper just stared at her, unsure at what to say. “But I accept your apology in your form. Glad to be working alongside you again.”

Viper nodded and left. As she was walking back to her lab, Omen materialized beside her. “That wasn’t so bad.”

Viper gave him a death stare that made the latter disappear in wisps of smoke.

\--

Soon enough the other agents in the Valorant protocol started pouring in.

Others came because of their own accord like Reyna sensing a lot of Radianite in the headquarters, while others came because they had heard of it amongst fellow Radiants, like Raze who goes way back with Killjoy. If there was one thing in common that they had, it was the mutual dislike for Kingdom.

Jett and Phoenix turned the dynamic upside down, being the youngest members in the group. Dealing with everyone was not her job but Viper could observe some of the passion come back in Brimstone’s eyes. For a friend like him who had lost people close to him, retire from a job he loved doing, she could admit to herself that she was happy for him.

When Brimstone sat them down one night, she saw that same light in his eyes. “So team, we’re having our first mission together. It’s fairly simple: we need to hack into their system so that we can gain access to their plans. Along the way, we can steal one of their spike prototypes, it’s this weapon that they have been developing.”

He typed into his tablet which displayed on a projection on their common area, where everyone was sitting down, Viper opting to stand up in the corner.

“This is in one of their headquarters in California. The security is going to be tight, but we have it all covered. I’ll be the leader setting up the execute with my chopper, Omen is with me, ready to teleport and help at any time. We’ll divide into two teams, the team hacking into the system, and the team setting up a distraction to steal the prototype.”

He pressed a few buttons, showing a new screen. “Here are the assignments. Jett and Phoenix, you guys will be part of the prototype team. Sova will be your intel gatherer, while Sage will be your support.” This was met with bickering between Jett and Phoenix making Brimstone wait before continuing.

“As for the hacker team, Cypher and Killjoy we’re going to need your combined expertise on this. Cypher will bypass security and alert us when there is trouble. Killjoy will hack the computers. Reyna and Raze will be on watch and will be your first line of defense when things go wrong. Viper will clear the way for Killjoy.” He turned to everyone triumphantly. “So questions?”

“Do I have permission to eat out their hearts?” Reyna said venomously.

“We’ll do what is necessary to fulfill the objective. If it were up to me, the littlest collateral damage possible is the best way to go. But go ahead, Reyna.”

“No more questions?” He looked around.

Viper scanned the room and locked eyes with Killjoy who gave her a lopsided grin as she waved. _Great, just what I needed._ She tried her best avoid eye contact with the other girl. It was going to be a long day.

“Okay, let’s go team!”

\--

Being back in the same facility where she discovered the human experiments and the harsh truth about Kingdom were memories Viper did not want to relive. She would have to be lying if she said her mind was focused on the objective.

She was treading carefully the empty hallways of one of the top floors, trailing behind Killjoy who was checking her electronic cuff. Cypher had split with them the moment he discovered where the surveillance room was. Reyna and Raze had decided to stay near Cypher and watch as the infiltration of the surveillance room was already known at this point. That left Viper with the German engineer. _At least if things go wrong, I have my toxins,_ she reminded herself.

“Here!” Killjoy exclaimed in a loud whispery way.

With a few presses on the lock keypad, they were in. The room opened to an office that did not seem out of the ordinary. Situated at the desk was a sophisticated computer from Kingdom where the plans were stored.

Killjoy made her way to the seat and started typing away really fast at the keyboard. “Okay I’m in, this should not take long.”

Viper just stood there, near the doorway, unsure of what to do, clutching the pistols Brimstone supplied them all with.

“Everything alright there?” Cypher’s playful tone came into her earpiece.

“Affirmative. Killjoy got access to the computer already.” Viper relayed.

“Good. Cause in five minutes this entire building will be on a lockdown. Let’s just say the prototype team was making a lot of noise.” He had a way of sounding so calm yet excited when things were about to go very wrong.

“How long, Killjoy?” Viper called out.

The other girl’s round spectacles were reflecting the blue light of the computer. “Their security...er…got better than the last time I worked with them. Give me a couple more minutes.”

“We don’t have a couple more minutes.” Viper exclaimed in anger, trying to calm her whisper. Killjoy frowned in concentration with the added pressure.

Viper looked back out at the hallway, and sure enough, the alarms have started blazing.

“Cypher, what have you got?” Viper chimed in.

“The cameras show that they are about to come for your floor. I’d give you guys three minutes to leave before things get messy.” He said.

Viper turned to the younger girl. She had not seen her so focused and so silent than she was at this moment. When it seemed like Viper was going to snap, the other girl stood up, holding her thumb drive.

“Got it!”

When they prepared to leave the floor, a bunch of Kingdom guards appeared from the end of the hallway. Viper threw her poison orb, which released the gas, engulfing the squad of guards.

“That’s our exit!” Killjoy exclaimed.

“Hold your breath. We’ll find another way out. Follow me.” They ran across the different hallways of the floor, passing through escape stairwells until they got to the bottom floor. The stairwell opened up to halls of the laboratory section of Kingdom. This seemed oddly familiar to Viper as she made her way through and it was just when she realized Killjoy was not following.

She turned to see the other girl, frozen as she looked at the Kingdom machinery in display at the lab. That’s when it hit Viper that she had seen this before, all those years ago.

“I helped…do this.” Her thick eyebrows turned downwards, a face she had not seen from the engineer yet. 

“Forget about it.” She snapped.

“How can I? Much of my life’s work has been done here and it’s being used for all the wrong reasons.” She said, exasperated.

“Well, we can’t do anything about it.” She said sternly.

“Are you always this mean?” Kiljoy asked, taking Viper by surprise at the shift in tone.

Viper sighed. “We don’t have time, let’s go.” Viper found herself grabbing the other girl’s wrist to keep them going. That startled Killjoy, falling in momentum of the tug, joining Viper as they ran to the exit.

“Where are you guys? We’re already here at the rendezvous point.” Cypher came in their comms.

“We had a slight detour.” Viper remarked, looking at Killjoy who seemed like her head was elsewhere.

“Hurry up, the next troop of guards will be near you guys any minute.”

Viper stopped in her tracks, Killjoy almost falling over, as they saw a line of guards right in front of them approaching. What caught their attention was the turret they had, already armed and aimed at them.

“Don’t you know the turret’s weakness? Shoot it down!” Viper exclaimed to the frozen engineer. Killjoy’s hand shook as she grabbed her pistol, evident hesitation in her body language.

The hesitation of the engineer meant the turret had time to make its first move. It shot the pillar next to them, sending it crumbling. Viper pushed the engineer to safety as the cement fell in debris on the ground. Thankfully, they were able to avoid it.

Viper had to think for both of them. She turned to the now distraught engineer. “You go ahead, I’ll slow them down with my toxins.”

In her face, fear was plastered all over. “No I can’t leave you, this is my fault—”

“You want a death sentence? Only I can survive my poisons.” Killjoy looked at her before glancing at the approaching troops. She took Viper’s word and made a run for the exit.

Viper, with her devices set, released her toxins, forming a poison pit that engulfed the whole area. This place was now hers, and in there, she makes the rules on who leaves and who doesn’t.

\--

The success of their first mission together did not go uncelebrated.

Even with a shaky exit, Viper’s toxins did the job and stopped the rest of the guards from coming after them, letting them flee safely in Brimstone’s chopper. Some members of the team were obviously pumped about it, their voices echoing around the headquarters all day. The other members of the team opted for a pizza party in the common area, while Brimstone, Cypher, and Sova started working on the spike prototype that they had gained access to, excited to work after the mission’s success.

Viper did not care for that, but some part of her felt content at the little steps they were taking to break and destroy Kingdom once and for all. Being able to use her toxins properly was the cherry on top. It was just the beginning, but the feeling of wanting to see something through rested inside of her like a seed in soil. Maybe there was room for a crack of light in this dark tunnel.

Viper realized amidst the atmosphere in the headquarters that Killjoy was nowhere to be seen when she usually took part in those things. With a realization, she figured out why that was the case. She remembered how the other girl had called her mean. Maybe she deserved that.

She found herself knocking at the room that Killjoy turned into her machine laboratory, which connected to her bedroom.

Killjoy opened it, the girl was wearing her pajamas and her favorite green beanie. She came out looking the most dejected she had seen, until she realized it was her. She most certainly did not expect Viper as her eyes betrayed her.

“Viper, what brings you here? Heh.” Her hands fumbling to fix her pajamas.

“Just wanted to say…you did pretty good earlier. The hacking.” She still struggled with expressing herself.

“Oh.” Killjoy’s cheeks reddened. She struggled to match her gaze. Viper noticed that without her frames, her brightly colored clothes that drew so much attention, Killjoy was actually normal. Beautiful, even. Silence fell on both of them, until Killjoy burst. “Listen Viper, I’m so sorry about earlier. I could have gotten us both killed. It’s so stupid of me to get so affected like that. And yes, I knew how to take down the turret I made for them, but I didn’t. You had to save my ass back there.”

The sudden burst of emotion came as a surprise to Viper but the engineer wasn’t done. “It’s actually my bad for letting myself get so distracted. Those years I worked for Kingdom, I didn’t know what they were really up to. I was the child prodigy engineer all the way from Germany. I won a contest they sponsored and that’s how they noticed me. Soon after that, they kept commissioning me to work on little projects, until I was practically exclusively working for them. I thought I was doing the world a favor with my prototypes. I’m also the reason why they upped their security –it was really lousy at first, _any_ eight-year-old could hack into that.” It was a new sight to Viper to see the engineer so unenthused and bugged out.

“I’ve been to that same place many years ago. I think that was you I saw there, working at the labs.”

Killjoy half smiled before forming a pout. “That was me alright. I’m just so glad Brimstone started this protocol. I want to make right what I did wrong. That and, I’ve always adored being around Brim, he’s like a cool dad to me. A cool dad I never had.”

Viper shifted her footing. “Whatever it is you’re feeling, it will also pass. That’s just what I wanted to say.”

Killjoy seemed to be thinking of what to say next. “I’m sorry if we got off on the wrong foot when we first met. I was just, fascinated, you know, brilliant minds. Heh. Brimstone has told me so much about you and I just got too excited to meet you. People are just so complex sometimes, machines on the other hand, they work the way you programmed it to. I’m working on it though, making an artificially intelligent alarm clock and I’ll get to practicing in no time.”

“That’s the reason I got into chemistry, everything was so methodical, calculated. Putting two things together forms a reaction. No second guessing, just science.”

“Exactly! Finally, someone who gets me. I just am used to spending more time with my inventions and robots that I don’t know what to say at the right time, or not to say at the wrong time. Pretty awkward for an extrovert. Well talking to one’s inventions never hurt did it? Oh I’m just rambling again, this does not look good.”

“I get it. I forget there’s other sounds than rats screaming for help once they’re suffocating in toxins or the smell of acid melting bones.” She offered with a straight face.

Killjoy chuckled. Viper frowned because she clearly did not mean that as a joke.

“I was wrong to call you mean earlier. Sorry about that.” Killjoy said softly.

“No you’re right. I’m not…a good person. I deserved that.” Viper agreed matter-of-factly. “I was wrong about you too, you’re not as vapid as I thought you were.”

Killjoy stared at her with those big eyes, making Viper feel unsettled. She put her hands in her pockets. “Anyway, I’ll be going. I have some tests to run.”

“Right, _ja._ Thanks for this, I appreciate it. And the offer still stands by the way, if you want someone to talk to about whatever research it is you’re doing. I’m always here.” The engineer’s enthusiasm appeared again.

Viper was ready to go when Killjoy spoke once more. “And Viper? I think you coming here to tell me all of this, a bad person won’t do that.”

The engineer’s last words swam in her thoughts, taking more space than she imagined. She always thought of herself as irredeemable, if so, then why did she go out of her comfort zone to talk to Killjoy? It puzzled her that she even did that. Was it because she knew the feeling of seeing the destruction you caused, a feeling she could empathize with? She did not know the answer.

Is there some good left in her?

No, she was beyond that. Viper was paying for all her sins. She was a monster, as she always called herself. But somewhere deep inside her that night, she felt a little sliver of hope. Hope that what they were doing with Kingdom was something that mattered, hope that she had found new company who could understand her, and hope that maybe she was more than just the self-proclaimed villain she called herself to be. To hear that someone believed in her made her want to believe it in it as well, whatever that was.

She went to bed that night not wishing sleep just swallowed her into oblivion. Instead, she was hoping for another day to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...And enter Killjoy!! I have alluded to her a lot of times in the past few chapters, but finally she is here! Sorry for making everyone wait until this chapter to bring her in. This just felt like the right time in Viper's story to explore that. Can't wait for you guys to see how this story will go now that we are coming close to the end! Your comments are always appreciated :D


	7. Love

The next Valorant protocol missions came pouring in. Some of them involved everyone, while some missions just called for a few members.

Because they always needed some poisons as a plan B in case things went wrong, Viper was indispensable whenever Brimstone planned the team lineups. This meant that she spent a lot less time in her lab than usual.

She found herself falling asleep and waking up in her work desk some nights. This did not bother her in the slightest, as this was what she had been doing for years now especially when she just started out. She couldn’t really say that being in the missions were a waste of her time when that was giving her real scenarios to use her poisons.

“How’s the work on your new toxin wall?” Killjoy asked one morning, approaching the pantry.

“Not as fast as I had hoped.” She scoffed, taking a sip of black coffee from her mug.

“Why don’t you tell Brim to lay you off for a while? I know Phoenix has been itching to get back in the field again or even Raze.” The engineer offered.

“If you want something done right, you do it yourself.”

“But this is what a team is for. We trust each other.” She said so optimistically. In moments like those, Killjoy reminded Viper of a chick who always chirped, much like the décor she had in her machine lab.

Viper sighed. “There’s some things only I can do. Phoenix acts before he thinks, Raze just wants to blow things up.”

“Fair. But you deserve to give yourself a break. Have you ever thought about that?” She asked, stirring her mug of hot chocolate. The younger girl had the ability to make her second guess.

Viper could not think of an answer.

\--

She deduced that Killjoy must have put in a word for her to Brimstone for the next weeks she was not called to any of the missions. At first, she was so opposed to the idea that the engineer spoke on her behalf. But as she settled on getting to her prototype stage of building her toxin wall, she realized the younger girl was right.

When she had perfected the prototype, she called the engineer to come over her lab. The other girl had a hoodie on and sweatpants, understandable as it was already 2 AM. She had in her hands a mug of a hot drink.

Viper pressed the trigger and showed how the device lined up and produce mist that would eventually hold poison. She looked at Killjoy to see that the other was looking at her funny.

“What?”

“I think it’s the first time I’ve seen you genuinely smile. It’s unsettling, like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. But fascinating.”

“Oh.” She did not pay attention to these things, so someone pointing it out made her feel so exposed. She barely even looked at herself in the mirror.

“But er, it’s great! If I may, I can suggest some minor tweaks to it?” She said sheepishly, scared to overstep.

“I won’t mind.” She noticed the mug. “Isn’t it a little late for you to be drinking coffee, and from the smell of it, black coffee.”

“Oh, uhmm, this is actually for you. It’s late for me, early for you. I remembered how you like it.” She set the mug down on her workstation.

Viper stared at the mug then back at the girl. Memories stirred up inside her head that she swore she would forget –coffee breaks with Ted that led her to get to know him. It was what started everything for her. The pang of emotion swirled up inside her like dust blown in the wind.

“Is there something wrong? Did you already drink coffee tonight? Or did you like those artificial sweeteners that act as a viable substitute for sugar—” The panic was evident in Killjoy’s voice starting to speed up.

“No, no this is great. It just reminded me of something.” 

“I hope it’s a good something.” She chipped in.

“It is.”

They spent the ungodly hours of the night just chatting as Viper tweaked away at her work. Killjoy, when left to her own devices would not stop talking. Viper thought it would be grating after a few hours, but she had since grown appreciation at the other’s girl thoughts. She filled up space that was otherwise an empty void.

“—And that’s why I can’t trust Americans. The way we do things are more efficient, I don’t get many things people in America do. But I have since spent a lot of my growing years in America because of all the contests, some internships I did. We didn’t have a lot of those back in Germany. But at a young age I felt I had to fend for myself. If I didn’t have my genius mind or my inventions, I wouldn’t have anything. My parents… well I never met them.” Her body language shifted at the last part, making Viper notice. “It was Frau Bauer who took me in from the orphanage, she was a widow, and she gave me a really good home. She was really supportive of my work, my talents.”

“Where is she…now?”

“She passed away a few years ago. I was still working for Kingdom, it was such a busy time for me. I couldn’t even come back home.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine, you couldn’t have known.” Killjoy sighed, her eyes transfixed elsewhere. “Even if time has passed, they never leave you, you know? The people you care about.”

Viper felt those words pierce her. She steadied her breathing.

“That’s why I always thought of Brimstone as my pseudo-father. I think I really needed a father figure in my life, growing up without one, he’s the closest one I’ve got. That’s why when Brimstone told me about this protocol, it was not even a question. Well in between leaving Kingdom, I started building my own workshop and do personal projects to get by. Leaving Kingdom was just me taking a break and doing something for myself this time, I didn’t realize how horrible it was until after I left. When you’re in there, you just get tunnel vision. Nothing else matters but the work.”

Viper thought back to her own experience, knowing Killjoy’s words harked true.

Killjoy perked up, with her eyebrows slanting upwards. “How about you? What’s going on in your universe?”

Viper couldn’t meet her eyes. She was not ready to talk about herself, not in the way the other girl did.

\--

Days turned into weeks, which turned into months.

Killjoy and Viper were exchanging nights together just talking about their work. Sometimes, Viper watched as Killjoy built new tech to help upgrade their equipment in the headquarters. It was fascinating to see the other girl work, she had this laser like focus that Viper saw in herself, but it was interesting to see Killjoy break out of that focus to crack a joke or share an anecdote and go back like it was nothing. She was so different, yet she got her.

What kept Viper coming back, she wasn’t so sure. But the knowledge that the other girl genuinely wanted to listen to what she had to say and in what she was doing since she joined the protocol was enough for her.

She could still admit to herself that Killjoy was a breath of fresh air in her familiar white walls.

When Killjoy had to be sent for missions and Viper got left behind, she found herself staying up until they got back. It started out subtle, just seeing them arrive back at the complex from her room door was a sign that she could rest easy. It happened that one time, she fell asleep in Killjoy’s machine lab as she waited for her.

“What are you doing here?” Kiljoy said in surprise as she turned on the lights. She still had on her backpack where she kept some of her tech, obviously just arriving back at the headquarters.

Viper sat up straight, startled. “Oh I fell asleep. Glad you’re back safely.”

Killjoy’s eyebrows darted in opposite directions. “You waited for me?”

Viper froze, unsure of what to say. “I just couldn’t wait to tell you about what I was doing.”

The engineer chuckled. “Viper I didn’t know you had this in you.”

Viper couldn’t meet her eyes. “I guess now that you’re back, I could leave.” Killjoy grabbed her by the hand, stopping her departure. Viper looked at the contact of their hands before looking at the taller girl’s eyes.

Killjoy made a soft smile. “Do you want to spend the night?”

\--

Viper watched the other girl sleep. The way her eyebrow twitched when she tossed and turned made her chuckle. This became a familiar sight to her now, spending most nights together when it was late for anyone to be questioning them. The first night was awkward, when she waited at Killjoy’s lab. But now, she could let herself be with someone else next to her. Hearing her breath in close proximity as she slept was a scenario that was so new to her. Yet the German engineer was unknowingly peeling down her walls. Strangely enough, Viper didn’t do anything to stop it from happening.

What they were, she had no idea. It just sort of happened since the first night they slept together, then the cuddling, watching Discovery channel reruns on TV, everything just fell into place and neither girl questioned it. It was strange how the other girl fit so perfectly when they cuddled, like a chemical bond.

She carefully sat up, making sure not to wake the other girl.

Part of her still envied people who could sleep peacefully. Viper still cannot escape her nightmares some nights. It was not as often as before, but it often resurfaced. In the days when she actually felt good was when they usually crept back in, reminding her that good days were only temporary, she deserved nothing more than that.

_They’re wrong about you_ , Killjoy had murmured before falling asleep.

_Wrong about what?_

_That you’re some monster. Viper this, Viper that. You’re more than that._ Those were the engineers last words before falling asleep.

She was never one to care about what other people thought. But somehow knowing the engineer felt so strongly against what they were saying made her feel both guilt and contentment.

Viper felt a weight settle at her chest. She had not really opened up much about herself unlike Killjoy who was an open book. She was scared that the other girl would not like her anymore if she knew what she caused. On the other hand, it killed her that she was not being completely honest. That ate her up once and she would hate to see it happen again.

She was Viper. She was a path of destruction to everyone she has ever loved and cared about. Anyone who ever got too close. She looked once more at the peaceful sleeping form of Killjoy. Killjoy who had so much heart, so much enthusiasm, who was such a team player. Viper felt the guilt choking her throat. She could not let that happen to the girl, hadn’t she been selfish enough?

She could admit to herself that the past few months have made her feel things she thought she would never get to feel again. Caring about someone, being afraid to hurt them. These counted for something for someone like her right?

“Maybe one day, little mouse.” She whispered to herself before getting her clothes and leaving the room.

\--

Viper was getting some coffee when it was around 3 AM in the pantry when Brimstone joined her for a cup.

“Always a night owl.” He remarked in his usual manner of speaking.

Viper let the hot drink touch her lips. “I’m surprised you’re…still up.”

“I had some things to finish. Running this circus isn’t as easy as it looks.” He said holding up his tablet. He put it down and focused his attention to her. “Hey Viper, I’ve been seeing you spend a lot of time with Killjoy. Just wanted to say I’m glad to see you warm up to people.”

“You’re one to snoop.”

He turned his head sideways. “Well, I am the leader of this protocol, I see things. I know you said joining this was just for your experiments, but I knew that it would be great if you had people to talk to. Happy to see that working out.”

“She’s…a good person.” Viper said, part realization, as she stared somewhere off in the distance, not particularly at anything.

“Yeah, underneath all that tinkering with machines, she’s got a big heart.” She was there in the pantry drinking her coffee, but her mind was already wandering. It was time to put it to a stop.

\--

Viper kicked her gears into overdrive.

She had put a sign for real outside her lab that she was not to be disturbed because she would be running a 48-hour experiment run. While it was a half-truth, she needed time alone with herself to deal with all of the swell of emotions that she has been feeling as of late. She would stay away from Killjoy because she decided it was both for their own good, even if she did not realize it yet.

Viper ran her experiments the way she usually did. This time, she needed to deal with Radianite so that meant needing extra steps such as wearing a protective suit and the right equipment. Once she was able to extract it though, the rest were just automated processes, steps she was so used to doing.

She pretended not to notice the notifications on her phone. She did not need to check it to see that Killjoy was the one sending them. They always texted even when doing work which was more of Killjoy doing the texting and Viper just reacting.

She had prepared herself for this and kept food in her room so she would not have to leave both her lab and her adjacent room. Being alone was both a comfort to her, yet with the increased time she had spent around the other girl, she realized it was also lonely at times.

Viper kept on as long as she could until the food ran out and she had to stock herself with more of them when it was in the dead hours of the night. It was the time she had the common areas of the headquarters to herself.

Avoiding Killjoy was easier said than done when she had such a strong presence that showed itself everywhere. Now to Viper, it felt like she was deliberately robbing herself of that presence. Viper knew the times that Killjoy was sent to do missions so it was her time to go out of her lab.

It happened the week after that Viper was grabbing coffee at 2 AM that Killjoy intercepted her before she could react. She had a worried look on her face which made her thick eyebrows droop. “Hey, you’ve been MIA for a while. Everything alright?”

“The experiment run I was doing was really important and I needed all the time.” She said.

“Oh cool, cause for a second it felt like you were avoiding me. Heh.” She said sheepishly.

Viper dropped her gaze. “Killjoy it’s best if we—stop this. Whatever this is.”

The engineer had a surprised look on face, before turning to worry. “Was it something I said?”

“It’s not your fault at all. It’s me actually. I’m not the right person for you.” She sighed. “I’m sorry it had to be like this. I need my personal space.”

Killjoy looked like she had so much to say still, gasping for words. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

Viper met the other’s eyes and she wish she hadn’t. “This is the only way I know how.” Viper took her coffee into her hands and retreated back into her room, leaving the taller girl standing there.

\--

The other girl did give her space, much to her surprise. Maybe it was because she had hurt her. The thought that she had hurt the younger girl affirmed in Viper’s eyes that she was better off alone, where she can’t hurt anyone anymore.

That gave her time to focus on her work but that did not mean that she was completely free of thought for Killjoy. The work she was doing was the distraction to everything else.

That week, she had a mission where she had a run on with one of their newer members, Skye. She hated attention on a large scale, and this was one of those dreaded moments.

When they got back to the headquarters, Skye jabbed at her. “I had it control, Viper. The plan was just to stun them. You didn’t have to melt them in acid.” This turned some heads in the headquarters, with people approaching the common area. Skye was just loud mouthed at times that even her normal speaking could sound like she was challenging someone to a fight. Phoenix, Jett, and Raze had on some excited looks in their faces at a fight brawling which did not help her temper.

“You hesitated, Skye. In times like this, there is no room for hesitation. Besides, it’s all collateral damage.” Viper took out her mask in annoyance. “We did the objective for today anyway.”

“No but that’s the thing, why do we need to have collateral damage like that?” She exclaimed in her thick Aussie accent.

“Viper, I think she’s right with the collateral damage part. It’s still best to avoid that if we can, just like our team briefings.” Brimstone piped in, hoping to dispel an argument.

“So you’re taking _her_ side, then?” She gave him a look, to which he raised his hands in truce.

“We’re supposed to be the good guys here. I don’t know why we put up with Viper’s weird moral code. Or Reyna eating people’s hearts.”

“To be fair, I need the hearts to survive.” Reyna remarked, rolling her eyes.

Brimstone stepped in. “Skye, Viper’s been an indispensable member of our team. She’s done so much—”

“I never asked to be a good guy.” She raised her voice over Brimstone’s. “I’m just here because I want to hurt Kingdom, just like everyone else. If I’m a villain then so be it!” Viper spat, glaring at Skye before storming off to her room. She walked past the other members of the team who were watching their tiny argument.

Viper wanted nothing more than to bury herself in a dreamless sleep. She was tired and dealing with that was just too much work.

She heard a soft knock on the door.

“Go away!” she said.

“It’s me.” To her surprise, Killjoy’s muffled voice said from the other side. She felt her chest sink at the moment. After her avoidance, she found that she could not say no to the younger girl.

“Whatever come in, you’ve been warned.” She said in defeat.

Killjoy, dressed in her favorite yellow jacket, made her way and sat at her bedside carefully.

“What was that about, you hot head.” Killjoy remarked jokingly. Seeing the girl back to her usual self even after she confronted her was a slight relief to Viper.

“This is why I prefer dealing with things alone in my lab.” She groaned.

“Skye’s actually a whole other breed. Must be all those years in the wild. Just let her be, we all have our unique antics. But you’ve been doing great the past months, trying to talk to the other team members.”

“Skye’s right, you know. I’m not like everyone else here. I never asked to be here so it’s only fair that I don’t really belong here like everyone.” She raised a hand to make a point.

“Do you always think that you don’t deserve things? Deserving a break? Deserving to be treated with respect? Deserving to belong in a group? Deserving to be cared for?” The question took Viper by surprise, making her sit up to mirror the other girl.

“Quite frankly, I don’t. Not after everything that happened.” Viper retorted. She met her gaze. “Why are you even here after I clearly told you to stay away.”

“I heard what happened and I got worried. I’m still your friend.” She said carefully.

“I’m a bad friend then.”

Killjoy put her hand on top of hers, taking the older girl by surprise. “No you’re not.”

“You don’t understand—"

“Then help me understand. Whatever it is you need to get out, I’m here to listen. I’m not going anywhere Viper, you can’t scare me away.”

Viper couldn’t meet her eyes. The walls she had built all those years around her was ready to be let down, just for a while. This was the moment she hoped would not come, but she knew needed to happen anyway.

“How much do you know?”

“Brimstone just told me you lost the people you loved. Kingdom took them away.” Killjoy’s voice was so small, so unlike her usual manner of speaking.

She exhaled. “They did. The worst part is that I pretended to ignore the warning signs about Kingdom. All because all I could think of was my research. I guess I was ambitious. I wanted fame, I wanted to help the world or so I thought. I put my work before everything else, even the people I cared about.” She distracted herself by fumbling with the blanket.

“When I found out about the real truth to Kingdom, that they used my research as a front to get early access to Radianite and their plans to use it for experiments, to make weapons, keep themselves in power, it was too late. I was given an ultimatum to give over my research or see everything I love be taken away. I still was stubborn enough to think I could save both, I chose my work in the end. They destroyed the lab I worked at, killed some of my colleagues there. When I got home, everyone I loved was dead just like they said.”

Killjoy was silent. It was too much to take in, she knew.

“When I got to my senses, I realized the only way to go on was to keep working. This was the only thing I ever was good at. People are just as good until you let them down, the ‘greater good’ is just another way to satisfy warm glow but experiments –they’re meant to be finished. That’s when I started working on poisons instead. I would get back at Kingdom if that’s the last thing I would do. It started with the director, I got back at her one night once I perfected my first batch of toxins. Then Brimstone got me here.”

The continued silence from the engineer was expected. When she responded, it came as a surprise to Viper. “It all makes sense now.”

“You act like you deserve to be branded as some villain when it’s just you projecting that on yourself, because you feel it was all your fault.” Killjoy said in her roundabout way when she was spewing ideas.

Viper stared at her, not expecting the psychoanalysis. People usually just told her to do whatever form of penance they deemed fit, but to her it all sounded like the same broken record over and over. Hearing Killjoy say something different took her by surprise. “You’re not going to tell on me to do things—”

“Of course not, it’s not my place. People cope differently and that’s okay. You’ll figure it out someday.” She said so assuredly as if it was a calculation. Killjoy met her awestruck stare and faintly smiled.

“I told you to stay away because everyone I ever cared about got leached slowly like poison until they were gone. I couldn’t let that happen to you.”

“Don’t worry about me, silly. That’s cute but not everything is your fault. People make mistakes, I did too. Just because something bad happened once doesn’t mean it will happen again. It’s only bad if you make it.” 

“But I did a lot of bad things, Killjoy.”

“So have I. I have built prototypes, machines, that Kingdom now uses for destruction. My inventions have hurt countless others, and that’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. But you know what, I have to keep going. When you build machines or do experiments you keep going, keep running tests, then improve, until you perfect it. The first few failed prototypes don’t matter. It’s what you do about it that matters.”

“And what do I do?” She frowned.

“It starts with…being kinder to yourself.” Killjoy smiled softly. The wisdom the engineer was giving her were words she did not expect, but ones she needed to hear. “Let yourself feel emotions, give yourself a break, let people in.”

“I’m…sorry I pushed you away.” She wanted to say more but couldn’t.

“You pushing me away actually made me sleep in my real body clock hours and helped me finish some new side inventions. But I don’t mind messing up my body clock just to be around you. I already calculated the risks, but the payoffs could be great.” She said so nonchalantly, in her airy manner of speaking.

Viper took this all in, so much mixed emotions swirling inside of her.

“How were they? Your family?” she softly asked.

She clasped at her own hands. “Parents were just like everyone else’s. Always kept clippings of me whenever I was featured in the news. They had this huge photo album full of that. It was embarrassing.” She felt herself get choked up, but strangely she went on, feeling comfort in the safe space she had with Killjoy. The other girl chuckled at her reply.

“My fiancé, Ted, he was a great guy. We used to fight whenever I spent more time doing work, I guess I deserved that. But he always stayed up with me either way, he didn’t care if he lost to our debates. He let me be the smarter one.” She surprised herself with how she was able to talk about them when the mere thought was excruciating. “My kid was just five months old. His name is Emery. He just learned how to stand up on his own.” Her lip trembled and she hung her head low.

To her surprise, Killjoy put an arm around her, letting her lean on her shoulder. She expected the girl to talk but in that moment that she didn’t, she realized how Killjoy didn’t give herself much credit when it came to dealing with other people. The other girl did not speak a single word, yet Viper had never felt so comforted and understood.

“You’re not turned away by everything I just said?” she asked, leaning away to look at her in the eyes.

“Why would I be? You have such big heart Viper. I was right all along.” She said, with a ring of accomplishment in her voice. “Underneath all that façade, and sexy good looks, did I mention–there’s this person deserving of so much love and who still has all the love to give to the world.”

Viper rested her head back again on her shoulder. Viper was thankful she was leaning on the other girl, so she wouldn’t see the water in her eyes she tried to fight back.

“It might take a long time for that day to come. You’re giving me too much credit, little mouse.” She tried to bring back her composed self.

“You’re talking to a girl who spends months perfecting my tech. I don’t mind waiting, Viper.”

Viper sat up and gently laced her hand with the other girl, clasping it firmly. “You can call me Sabine.”

\--

**[PRESENT]**

Viper took the photo of her, Omen, and Ted wearing lab coats and put it in a manila envelope. She got the other pictures during that time –photos she had stashed away in a part of her lab she was certain she’d forget. But now, she wanted to remember one last time.

All of the photos resurfaced memories she had forgotten existed. Sabine had a good life. Somehow. The photos were a mix of work photos and photos of just friendly and family occasions. Omen was in most of them, reminding Viper of how much he was a big part of her life. She found herself even laughing to herself amidst the tears in her eyes, looking at the photo of Omen goofing off with baby Emery. She remembered taking that photo all those years ago.

After going through all of them, she tucked them away in the manila envelope and knocked at Omen’s quarters.

“Sabine—”

“You told me that remembering wasn’t bad. I’m not so sure of that. But I think that these would be more of use for you than for me.” She handed the envelope.

“These are painful for me but you said memories help you feel alive, more human. I hope these find good home with you.”

“Are you sure?”

Omen opened it and scanned at the photos, flipping through each one. She could feel his longingness, his nostalgia as he looked at the remnants of a life he once lived. She knew the feeling all too well.

“I lived a good life.” He said in realization. “I thought I was alone, but I had you and Ted. I’ve longed for a family and all along it was you, the friends I made.”

“You were never alone, Omen. We’re both no fun now, but you’ll always have me.” 

“Please, I’m the one with the humor here.”

“Okay enough or I take back what I said.” She snapped.

Omen stared at her with recognition in the glow under his hood. “So what happens to you now?”

She nodded. “Sabine lived a good life, she did what she can given her—circumstances. I guess it’s time for Viper to live hers, wherever that takes her.”

He exhaled. Viper imagined if he was still human, Omen smiling with his twinkling eyes. Instead, he looked at her with the blue stripes under his hood glowing with recognition. At the moment, they were one and the same. “Never change, Sabine. Someday, you will get that peace I know you seek.”

“I hope you find your peace too, old friend.”

\--

“Ready?”

Killjoy stood next to her luggage in her room, with a wide grin on her face. The sight of seeing the other girl so happy cast a warm fuzzy feeling in Viper.

“Not going to lie, I’d hate to be away from my lab.” She frowned.

“Sabine please. It’s just for a week. Brimstone was kind enough to let us take a vacation break.” She whined in her voice which made Viper chuckle.

“I’m kidding. Yeah, letting myself deserve a break is the first step I guess.” She pointed to her tiny luggage, which was in stark comparison to Killjoy’s large yellow bag. “I’m ready don’t worry.”

“Did you just crack a joke? I’m rubbing off on you. Don’t know if that’s good or bad.” The engineer made a face.

“I’ve always been funny, my blend of humor isn’t just for everyone. You’ve just been smart enough to keep up.” Viper reminded her.

“What can I say, always a sucker for a smart woman.” She shrugged. “Takes one to know one.”

Viper put her arms around the girl’s waist, pulling her close. The girl was a few inches taller than her but she didn’t care. She took in her features, her cupid lips, her thick eyebrows, her dark warm eyes, the way her bangs fell on her face. She was scared to lose her and that frightened her, but all the same fueled her mission to bring down Kingdom even more. Her world was something she would fight for, no matter the cost.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Reminding me that Sabine is still somehow here, that it’s okay to feel and that it isn’t a weakness.” She met the other girl’s dark eyes and she never felt surer of anything, the way she was with her poisons. “It’s nice to feel things that aren’t nothingness and rage.”

“This is very sappy even for you, you’re scaring me Sabine.” Viper glared at her. “Of course, I’m kidding. Happy to be with you along the ride. Let’s kick the hell out of Kingdom while we’re at it. With your poisons and my inventions, they won’t stand a chance.”

Viper’s eyes slowly darted to the taller girl’s lips before she leaned forward, her head in her hands, as she gave her a kiss. Killjoy responded by wrapping her arms around her waist. It was in times like this that Viper felt that everything made sense. The chemist and the engineer. In her universe, this was the certainty that she desperately craved.

“When we get back from the vacation, I can’t wait to spend more nights cuddling up watching Discovery channel in my room. You’re starting to make me like those type of shows. Funny enough.” Killjoy remarked.

Viper looked at her suddenly. “Why don’t we stay in my place?”

Killjoy’s eyes widened as she blinked for a few seconds. “You’re—letting me share your personal space?”

Viper nodded. “Is there something wrong?”

“You just, value it so much. It’s almost like you’re letting me have a piece of your heart or something. That’s very cute.”

Killjoy suddenly blushed. “Also, you don’t have to say it you’re not ready but I’ll go on anyway.”

“I love you.”

Love was still an unquantifiable concept to her. The last time she had heard those words, she was stupid enough not to grab the chance and say it back. A past full of mistakes and regrets. She had made little progress to forgive herself and be kinder to herself these past few months than she ever did all those years before joining the protocol. It was a long way, but she wanted to make it right, not for anyone, but for herself. And it starts with the little things.

Killjoy grew red at Viper’s silence and shifted her footing uncomfortably, dropping her hand. Viper quickly noticed and clasped her hand.

“You make me want to…believe in love again.” She admitted with certainty.

Killjoy smiled, her eyes softening. The same look she gave her whenever she showed little kindness to herself. “That’s enough for me, for now.”

Viper found a smile forming on her lips.

Her life was a dark tunnel and joining the protocol made her believe that maybe there were room for cracks of light to pour in through. The scars that led her to that dark place ran deep and would stick with her forever. But even if the tunnel stretched on, she did not have to walk alone. Sometimes you just find it easier to walk through with someone. For Viper, in that moment, she knew it came in the form of the tall engineer dressed in yellow and green.

“You’re doing that thing again. Smiling.” Killjoy cheekily said.

“How could I not when I’m with you.”

“If I was Sova you would have said something really sarcastic already.”

“But you’re…you.”

Killjoy smiled, making her eyes sparkle underneath her frames.

She held the taller girl’s hand firm in hers.

Where this would lead to, she did not know or was she certain. The possibility of opening herself up to hurt again was there. Viper knew much of how that felt. But more than the negative possibilities was the chance, her chance to make things right. This girl believed in her to be good, to be someone better than her mistakes, and that was a chance she wanted to take. For herself, for Sabine. She reminded her of a world and a life she forgot existed outside of her walls. Those years she spent hold up all by herself in her lab was comfort for her but was also a self-designed prison. Now, she was ready to step outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dropping an update on Valentine's Day I thought would be a nice way to close this mini fanfic of mine. Would just like to say thanks to everyone who left comments or kudos to the fic, honestly did not expect to get any of these. I just wrote this fic more for myself as a way to make up for the lack of lore from Riot about this amazing character. 
> 
> Viper and Killjoy are an amazing tandem and I hope I was able to give justice to that through this chapter. Most of Viper's character development comes to a close as well in here. It was really fun trying to take a crack at her character and see her desires, motivations etc, and also putting that next to Killjoy's. Maybe I will add an epilogue to this fic if you guys would like to see more, who knows :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading all the way to the end once again! Let me know your thoughts!


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